I grew up in Georgia, where we have two seasons, churches on every corner, and loud, opinionated Mamas. My mom is a short tempered, loving, brutally honest, kind hearted woman with a dangerous wit. She is known for many things and her advice is certainly one of them. Here is a short list of some things she taught me that I’ve grown up to use every day in my life.
-If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all…
I’m sure we’ve all learned this lesson somewhere, whether we heed the advice or not. Personally, if I ever said anything that wasn’t nice or it was hurtful, I was met with a threatening look and a promise to talk about it when we got home. When I was a kid I always felt like it was a stupid rule, they’re just words. But as I’ve lived, loved, and paid bills I’ve found that it’s a wonderful rule to live by.
-…But don’t lie!
Another lesson following close behind the previous was the “Don’t you lie” rule. Clearly, honesty is the best policy. If you broke the lamp, be up front about it. Better to be an honest klutz than a clumsy liar. I have to say this for the world: It seems like a lot of people didn’t have this lesson in their households. As an adult, people are often shocked by my honesty, and that’s pretty sad. How rare does honesty have to be for you to be taken back by me owning my faults and opinions? An additional lesson from this: Don’t ask me a question you don’t want the answer to!
-Don’t judge a book by its cover, but pay attention to what you ‘read’
Another age old lesson is not to judge someone or something by its appearance; there’s even a country song about it! My mom was always someone to carefully wait to see what a person revealed about themselves and I picked up this skill, though I still have a lot of learning to do. It serves you well in life to be able to spot a scam or a dishonest person or car that’s a lemon. If you see all the clues pointing to someone/something being shady, chances are that it is. Don’t shrug off those hints at what’s lying underneath. While sometimes dirt masks a diamond in the rough, sometimes it’s just a cat turd in the sandbox, know the difference.
-Forgiveness isn’t always a virtue
I’ve heard “Forgive and Forget” all of my life, for some people it’s a mantra to live by, but I learned to pick and choose what I forgive and forget. For example, you can forgive someone for drinking the last juice in the carton and not throwing it away (BUT IT’S STILL NOT COOL), however maybe you shouldn’t forgive someone for intentionally hurting you. There are rules and exceptions for everything but this one in particular sits close to my heart because I’m very passionate about forgiveness not being granted frivolously. I have a reputation with my in-laws about not being the softest touch when it comes to repairing fences, and I’m glad. I don’t want to be a push over, but that doesn’t mean I hold unnecessary grudges. Knowing your worth goes a long way in this world, so does knowing when to forgive and forget or when to cut ties. I can thank my Mama for my strong resolve.
-Learn from your mistakes and own it!
Learning from your mistakes is part of growing up into a successful adult. My mother’s approach to making sure I understood this was a four step program:
- She would tell me not to do something
- I would do what she told me not to
- There would be consequences and ripple effects to what I did
- Remind me that she had warned me and then help me learn and pick up the pieces
Honestly, my mom was on my butt about most aspects of my life when I was growing up. It was not my favorite as a child, but as I’ve grown up I can look back and appreciate what these lessons instilled in me…even the “I TOLD YOU SO” ones.
-Be honest with yourself
“To thine own self be true”
Y’all, I cannot begin to stress how important this is. My mama supported me being weird, though God knows she would have been so happy if I could have agreed to wear what the other kids wore. Owning who you are will save you so much pain and angst through-out your whole life, not just your formative years. I was fortunate enough to have a mom who supported my quirks instead of shunning them. I hope, even if you didn’t have the support that I did as a kid, that you are honest with yourself about who you are. Embrace your differences, don’t lock them away.
-Wash your hands
Hygiene: It’s Self Explanatory.
