You were one of my closest friends. The one I felt like I could jump into any conversation with and just instantly feel better. You'd keep me in check, tell me my faults, and how to improve them all while simultaneously making me smile and laugh. Do you remember?
I know what I've done is hard to forgive. You still have every right to ignore me and take your space. But, I just know if I don't do something about it now, I will never get to speak to you again. You're going off to do huge things, incredible things, and I'm seriously proud of you. I look up to you in some ways because of how mature and strong you are throughout the obstacles life has given you. Could I ever be that strong? Could I ever amount to the same capabilities as you? I'd have to have a serious talk to God and myself before I'd probably admit it, but that's also why you're so great. You saw things in me and believed things that I never did, could, or wanted to.
There are so many things I need to and want to apologize for, but there's one that is only appropriate through this letter. I'm sorry for being such a terrible friend at the time. I can easily say a thousand more apologies. Yet, it only works if I admit what I've done wrong. I should have been there more, in the present. I should've found ways and time to see you more. I should have given you the time you deserved and we wanted. None of the past can be changed or fixed, but I want to make it right for in the present: for the future.
I miss you more than you know. You're positive energy always makes life enjoyable and I want a second chance with it. If I could, I'd take us to some new place and just explore as we take the world the way it is. I miss having the adventures that you and I had and watching Law and Order: SVU marathons. I miss all of the little things that I realize I took for granted while I was with you. I know I was wrong and that I hurt you, and I still am sorry. I just miss you and hope that I can see you soon. Like the old times, I want us to laugh and hang out as we explore. I want us to laugh and talk until four AM about crazy things and silly ideas. I want us to watch SVU and eat junk food.
Whatever happens, I just need to thank you for all of the times you were there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent to. You'd cheer me up so much I would laugh and lose my breath. Thank you for all of the times you've given me advice and showed me that life holds better things. I took that for granted with you and you didn't deserve it, but now all I do is think of you when I feel myself becoming selfish. Lastly, thank you for believing in me with everything I didn't think I could do. You're the one who held me together like glue and I know if you weren't there, I'd fall apart.
