Sometimes it feels as if the end goal is not in sight. It could be years ahead and I wonder how I can keep my motivation going. I'm not where I want to be in life, but I also know that most 25-year-olds aren't. But then I think about it from a different perspective, maybe the end goal isn't the only thing I should be looking forward. Maybe it's the process of getting there that I should be focusing more of my attention on.

From past experience, it was typically the process/journey of something that taught me the most. It is difficult to realize that during the journey, but it's easy for me to see that when I reflect on past experiences. It wasn't the paper at the end of 4 years that made it worth it. It was more so the things I figured out along the way - the kind of person I want to be, the type of work I want to do each day, the risks I want to take in life, the legacy I want to leave behind, etc.

I constantly feel as though I am battling between bettering myself by investing in myself and just saying fuck it and staying complacent. But I know that I cannot stay complacent because I am not content with where I am. Sometimes I wonder, will I ever be? I know that investing in myself now will pay off in the long run. But the long run is barely imaginable. How old will I be in the long run? What will my family look like? Where will I be living and working?

The older I get in life, the more I realize there is more unknown than known. I think I need to accept that. As humans, we fear the unknown. We are programmed to plan, yet we can't control shit. We can scramble and do everything in our control to set ourselves up for later, but nothing is actually guaranteed. Yeah, you might have better chances of getting a better job because you got your degree, so in turn, your quality of life will increase. But that better job and higher quality of life aren't handed over to you once you finish school. I've also come to the realization that it isn't motivation that it's hard to sustain, it's actually discipline.