i hate my body
Start writing a post
Self Love

Yes, Society's Body Norms Are Toxic, But The Real Enemy Was Myself

Don't mind the Bitmoji — I was already making a sad face.

194
black woman taking selfie in mirror with crying bitmoji face
Eunice Koomson

I created a year-long plan to keep me focused on achieving my personal goals. I'm setting my focus on loving my body.

To be completely honest, this was a very hard piece for me. I almost convinced myself to not make a post about this; I was embarrassed and surprised by what I learned about myself. But withholding my journey from you all would defeat the purpose of the type of influence I want to be. And I realized that I'm being really dramatic, but that's another story for another day.

Each week I would answer questions targeted towards my opinion of my body and wrote my answers in my journal. I'm going to share some of my answers with you, word-for-word, typos and all. I would scan my journal entries for you to see but my handwriting looks like chicken scratch 💀

Anyway, let's get started:

So, what don't I like about my body?

- I hate this stomach fat
- back rolls — ugh
- my thumb is [messed] up
- my upper lip covers my smile
- my face and these acne/acne scars
- I hate my fat (stomach, back, arms, face) because it's a physical show of my weight gain. I see how I used to look & compare it to now.

My ideal body would be how I was around my junior/senior year of high school — thin but thick in the right areas; flat stomach, minimal pudge; defined back. I feel ugly. I remember when I got that blue romper and was in love. When I wore it, I was shy but when I saw pics of myself in it, I cringed. I was sad. I pinpointed all my flaws. It makes me less confident — I hate that energy so I want to change it . . .

Yup. I have a lot of insecurities with just my body alone. In fact, the photo above is a few months old and 9/10 I may be sucking in a bit 😣

It took me 20 minutes to find that photo because I hardly take body photos. I didn't realize how bad it was until I actually sat down and reflected on my body. As I wrote, I just kept thinking: "Am I really that disappointed in my body?"

The answer is no. When I think back to high school, I had a much longer list of "faults." For example, I literally HATED my skin tone and I honestly did not begin to accept my skin tone until my freshman year of college. It took nearly 18 years for me to realize this is simply a part of who I am and God made me this way. This is my body. If I want to be more confident, I have to embrace every aspect of my being and love it with everything I've got.

So one week, I made a list of things I loved about my body such as my lips (size and shape and softness), my butt size — no more no less — my proportions (without the extra fat), my skin tone, my eyes, my height (for the most part)

The list continues on. I noticed that there are way too many areas that I love about myself for me to be so engulfed by what I dislike. So I started to look at my body every night. Just stare and observe it in its natural naked state. I know this may sound weird or a little too much information but hear me out! I was doing more than staring but actually seeing my body.

I realized I had created this warped image of my body. I wasn't as big as I felt. I wasn't as ugly as I thought. I was just seeing myself in a funhouse mirror. I'm not sure if that inaccurate image was created because I compared myself to society's definition of body goals or my lack of self-love or both, but what matters is that I'm finally taking steps to move away from that negativity.

It's been an interesting month so far, and I still have to actively practice loving my body as the year goes on. But as long as your mind is set on the goal, you can achieve whatever you want.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

71117
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

132859
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments