“I’m never having kids, dog-mom for life!” I would repeatedly say as I watched another child scream in a public setting.

I have always said that I never wanted to have children and give up my hours of sleeping in, quiet rooms, and overall sanity. I wanted no part in middle of the night feedings, screaming tantrums, and Disney On Ice as my weekend plans. I struggled to see myself as a parent and strictly wanted to get married and travel the world with my husband. In addition to the messy little humans, I was absolutely terrified of childbirth. The horror stories of screaming labor for hours and the possible tearing of very valuable parts is not exactly something that sounded appealing.

It’s not that I didn’t enjoy being around children. The time I spent with my nieces or the children I once cared for on a daily basis was enjoyable, but I was always able to give them back and could not be held responsible if they grew up to be Jeffery Dahmer. I became content with being the fun Aunt and loading them up with sugar before sending them back to mom and dad.

And then something changed…

Once I graduated from college, I began working as a social worker for children who had been abused or neglected. I began spending my days with families that came in all forms and children who simply needed to be given a chance. The more time I spent with their innocence and simple happiness, the more it started to open the door to new possibilities.

I quickly found myself becoming emotionally attached to the children on my cases who were born into a home that didn’t deserve their kind souls. Children have a way of seeing the best in people, regardless of how much that person may have hurt them physically or emotionally. That innocence made me want to rescue each one of them and open my home to their presence.

Within six months of social work, a switch flipped within my heart and I found myself wanting a child of my own. I suddenly wanted the late night feedings followed by morning cuddles, the tantrums followed by talks of understanding, and a child to spoil on Christmas morning after threatening them with coal all year long. I want the evenings filled with baseball practice and dance class and a partner to watch my children run to when he gets home from work.

I no longer want to be the dog-mom with only a husband in my home. I want to be the wife and mother with an adorable little family that I can come home to everyday. I want to experience the kind of love my parents have for me and raise a child who will one day change the world, because I gave them everything I could.