So many things are said in the moment, under your breath, as your running out the door or, perhaps, not said enough. Ironically, those are the things that are the most important - that come from the bottom of your heart and that you really mean the most. The irony of these big things being said in a small manner is one of the biggest reasons why the importance of these statements is so heavy. Due to this sentiment, here are a few small words that mean big things and that I know I need to say more.
To my parents:
I listened to everything you told me growing up. The moments you threw a "when I can't be there to watch out for you, you're gonna need to…" (while finishing the sentence with an endless amount of lifelong lessons). I listened. I learned. I promise.
I miss you. Even when I forget to call during the week, I miss you. Mom, I miss you cooking me dinner even when I say I'm not hungry. I miss sharing your closet and I miss you reminding me to text you when I get home. Dad, I miss you reminding me to change my oil and check my tires. And I miss having you watch me pull out of the driveway every day making sure I don't run over the grass.
Also, as I'm sure you are wondering, I am doing my best. In school, at work, and in life. I am taking everything you taught me and using it to my fullest.
To my best friends:
When I say that shirt looks good on you, I mean it. And when I tell you that you're going to be my bridesmaids, I really do mean it. I could not LIVE or get through this life without you. When I tell you I love you, I don't say it lightly. I mean that you are literally my life. To those who I don't get to see every day, I long your outfit opinions and pep talks every day and your weird dance moves and perfect playlists every night. To the old and the new, I hold you all so close to my heart. And thank you for sticking by me through my battles.
To my sisters:
Don't grow up too fast. As cliché as it sounds, I can tell you first-hand, life flies by. One day you're walking into your first day of high school, counting down the days until you graduate and become a ~college girl.~ Next thing you know, you're a sophomore in college. And as much fun as it is, I have moments every day where I wish I could be back in your footsteps right now. Ireland, keep being yourself. Elle, never cut your hair. And Dylan, even though our age difference is significant, you'll soon learn you have the best big sisters you could ever ask for.
And most importantly, to myself:
Just. Be. Happy. Do whatever it takes. Life is too short to be anything else. If that means buy the shoes, buy the shoes. If that means skip the gym and go get ice cream, do just that. Continue to surround yourself with only people that love you for who YOU are and never change to make others happy. Don't let anxiety rule you and your choices. Conquer it. Last, but not least, love yourself. Keep your faith. Know that God made you who you are and exactly who you are supposed to be. You have a purpose. He has a plan.
And to everyone reading this:
Tell the people you love that you love them. Love yourself. Give someone a chance. Take the leap, take the risk. Don't ever wonder what could have been. Contradictory to what some may say, it's never a bad thing to say too much. I think it's worse to not say enough.
And remember that the small things are quite often the big things, and that is what makes life so precious.
