When I was younger, I was quite the extrovert. I loved parties and hanging out with my friends. I wanted to constantly have plans and felt the need to surround myself with others for entertainment. I befriended and trusted everyone that I came into contact with. That was a big mistake.

The friendships that I formed early on in life were ones that have had a larger impact on me than I would like to admit. They were incredibly toxic, filled with a lot of fights and hurtful words. I was backstabbed repeatedly by people that I considered to be best friends. I had experiences where I would have a large group of friends one day and then none the next. It was always up in the air. There was never any consistency with who was in my life.

One can only take being stabbed in the back so many times before they become timid. I allowed myself one too many stab wounds for people who did not deserve it. I was forgiving of people that never had my best interests at heart. I was fooled by people that I trusted. Overall, I just had a lot of really terrible friends, and as I got older, my group of friends became smaller and smaller.

Now, I would be lying if I said that all of the friends I had were horrible. I love and am still friends with several people that never did me any wrong. I played tennis in high school and consider most of my teammates to be friends that have never hurt me. I had some decent friends. It was the terrible ones that really got to me.

It was halfway through my senior year when the complete change of character happened. In the years leading up, I had become less social and less trusting of others, but this was no match for how I was at the end of my senior year. I stopped talking to most people. I lost interest in maintaining friendships that were toxic and began to feel comfortable with being alone. I wasn't capable of continuing to be hurt by people I cared about, so I decided that if I didn't care about people then they wouldn't be able to hurt me.

Obviously, this isn't a healthy way to live life, but I am not as emotionally scarred as all of this probably sounds. I know people need social interaction in order to function. I find that I have no problem with talking to people during classes or when I am out somewhere, but at the end of the day, I don't give many people a second thought. I am okay with spending time with the few people who I can trust.

Now, most people find it insane to think that I am in college and do not have any amazing friends. I have found that even in college the people that I come into contact with in some way hurt me. I don't stress over building friendships with people because I feel as if many of them will not last and that I do not need them in order to be happy.

Here's the thing: People are always telling me that I need to make more friends, but I am completely fulfilled with the people I have in my life. Why is having a small circle of friends such a problem? I get everything that I need from a small group of people so I don't need to stress over creating new friendships. People that are like me are not always lonely or incapable of social interaction. We simply find that concentrating our energy on a few people is better than giving a little energy to a lot of people.

Bottom line: there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a small circle of friends. It is a preference that some people, like myself, have when it comes to social interaction. It shouldn't matter how many people I have in my life if I receive everything I need from those people. I am perfectly content with the people I love. I have an incredibly small circle of friends and that's okay.