Unfortunately, not everyone has poise and grace. The gene may have been erased from our DNA, if not, it may not have been there at all. Thus, we have the clumsy ones. I, as well as many others, am proud to be compared to a child in adult high heels. Or, hippos that are put on a tightrope. Our best friend is Humpty Dumpty. Once our embarrassing act is over, we play it off like it's nothing. Here's 12 situations that clumsy people always manage to get themselves into.
1. Falling up or down stairs.
I'm starting off with the classic falling while going up or down stairs bit. You can in a hurry, even taking your sweet old time, then splat! There you go, tumbling down like dominoes.
2. Spilling coffee or other beverages while wearing white clothing.
It's Monday morning, and the worst of times. You're barely making it to work or class with a brand new white shirt on. You have your usual cup of coffee in hand, and there's a catastrophic occurrence. There's someone walking, looking down at their phone, not paying attention to what's in front of them. It's too late: you're wearing your java.
3. Dropping a bunch of paperwork or textbooks.
It's already bothersome to carry a bunch of papers. It's super frustrating having to spend $200 on a textbook you'll open once for the whole semester. The uneven pavement is destined to meet your foot. Oops, there goes your pile of things, and nobody is willing to help!
4. Slipping on a wet floor.
Jerry the janitor either was too lazy to put up a wet floor sign, or he decided to half-ass mopping the floor. You end up being the one who pays the price, because Jerry rolled the dice just in time. Here's to hoping you don't break your hip and have to sue Jerry.
5. Running into glass walls.
You can be an infant or an adult, glass walls don't discriminate. They're invisible force fields capable of giving a bump on your head.
6. Doing action stunts in race cars as a child.
You begged your parents for that GI Joe/Barbie Jeep, so you were determined to learn how to drive around the neighborhood in style. The gang was jealous, until you accelerated too quickly.
7. Breaking something on accident.
You're at the store running errands, and something scares you, making you jump a thousand feet. That ugly vase from the 1600's costing a few hundred dollars ends up hitting the floor and shattering. Maybe it'll be half off?
8. Colliding into someone else.
It can happen on foot, and while biking. I've seen two people collide while riding bikes before, and the end result wasn't too pretty. The crash of their bikes could be heard for miles.
9. Tripping over yourself.
It could be because you didn't pick your feet up, and/or your shoes were untied. No matter what, you have to deal with the consequence that is face-planting. Timber!
10. Fumbling during a sporting event.
If you were/ are an athlete, I'm giving you a gold star. You somehow lose control of your limbs, and pray that in the process you score the winning goal.
11. Rolling off your bed.
You know those dreams where you feel like you're falling from the sky and that you'll die when you hit the ground? Well, you'll wake up once you smack your bedroom floor.
12. Stubbing your toe on a table.
You were in the middle of an existential crisis, and the world brings on the worst pain by having your toe make acquaintances with a coffee table. What a monstrosity!
Being clumsy isn't always the greatest because of the humiliation and hurt it can bring. But, it makes the world go round, and I wouldn't imagine myself any other way. Here's to being clumsy!
