As I Sit Here And Think

As I sit here and think... I wonder what I could have done differently. I think of how I could have said that differently or came at it from a different angle.

As I sit here and think..... I hope that I didn't make you mad. I want you to like me... So I do everything in my power to form in your image.

As I sit here and think ….. I stare in the mirror and want to adjust my looks, my nose is too pointy and my hair is permed. I want a smaller nose and natural hair.

As I sit here and think.... I worry day in and day out about my life and if I I'm heading in the right direction. Am I doing enough? Am I doing too much? Am I spreading myself too thin?

As I sit here and think.... I realize that I don't know who I am. I've done things out of character and I'm stagnant.

As I sit here and think…. I look at other students and I compare our journeys and our destinations. I start to realign my focus from what's important to what doesn’t or won't matter.

As I sit here and think......... I push myself away from my friends, isolate myself and I no longer answer calls.

As I sit here and think...... It's no longer September 2016, it's now September 2017. Where has the time gone? Has time really gone by that fast?

As I sit here and think..... I find myself in the same place I was last year. I mean I've been doing all of this thinking and they say that you're suppose to think long-term. What was I wasting my time on?

As I sit here and think..... I realize that time isn't or never was on my side.

As I sit here and think..... I go on facebook and I see my peers with their grandchildren and children.

As I sit here and think... I realize that I am all alone with no one to show for.

As I sit here and think..... I look up at the calendar and see that it's my 85th birthday. Has it been that long?

You see life can pass you by when you try to think too much. You try to figure out everything and anything in the entirety. Not saying that you shouldn't think, but I'm saying enjoy life as it comes. You can sit there and compare but it won't add any positives but it will bring some negatives. Everything that is suppose to happen will happen. You aren't God and will never amount to God. Understand this Matthew 6:25-3425 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

You will be okay. Don't drown yourself in thoughts because life will pass you by.