Who Needs Boys When You're Literally Living With All Your Girls?

Who Needs Boys When You're Literally Living With All Your Girls?

Two words: Sisterhood and empowerment

So far, one of the best decisions I’ve made in college was rushing a sorority. Although the recruitment process was hellish and draining, I don’t regret going through it. Because in the end, I wound up exactly where I was supposed to be. Since then I’ve met some amazing people and connected with girls that I know will be my lifelong friends. Being in a sorority has taught me the true meaning both female empowerment, and most importantly, sisterhood.

Despite recruitment not being the most pleasant experience, I saw a lot of female empowerment. I saw girls supporting one another. I saw girls laughing, sometimes crying, becoming close friends, even though they ended up in different sororities. This female empowerment, this idea of girls supporting and loving one another, continued in my own sorority, Alpha Epsilon Phi.

When someone was having a bad day, a plethora of sisters would offer words of encouragement.

When a boy broke a sister’s heart, she always had multiple shoulders to cry on. When a girl wanted to take a risk, her sisters supported her. From these acts of kindness, support, care, and most of all empowerment, I was proud to be a part of such a great group of girls.

I’ve met so many friends too. I’ve become close with so many sweet, funny, and liable young women. I’ve shared my feelings with them, and they have with me. They’ve made me feel safe and accepted. They’ve given me an insane amount of confidence because that’s what women should do...support other women.

Give each other the confidence to pursue their dreams. Alpha Epsilon Phi has already given me that in three months, so I’m excited to see what else it can give to me, and what I can give to it.

We continue to grow as sisters, just like any sorority should. Every day we grow closer, and our bond grows stronger. There’s a lot that goes into a good sisterhood, like kindness, support, care, friendship, and above all else, empowerment.

Being in a sorority has taught me the true meaning of both female empowerment and sisterhood. I’m very proud to call myself a sister of Alpha Epsilon Phi, and I’m excited to grow and evolve with my sisters. LML.

Cover Image Credit: AJ Lipsett

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13 Summer Struggles Only Thick Girls Understand

Chafing. So much chafing.


Summer is a lovely time. A time of cookouts, swimming, and sunny weather. But if you're a " thick girl," summer sometimes brings more unpleasantries than it does for slimmer women. No matter how beautiful and confident you are in your body, it can bring some struggles.

1. The living hell that is shorts-shopping

Step 1: Find the biggest size the store has.

Step 2: (If you can even get those on): Realize your stomach is being squeezed into the top, your butt is falling out of the back and your thighs are having the life squished out of them.

Step 3: Realize why winter isn't so bad.

2. And dealing with them even after finding a pair that "fits"

Nothing like taking a pair of shorts home you remember fitting you okay in the store and then walking for 45 seconds and pulling them out of your butt or crotch 17 times. Truly a magical experience.

3. And every bathing suit you try on shows more skin than you'd planned

Even the most conservative bathing suit turns into cleavage-city and a non-cheeky set of bottoms turns into a thong. I promise, older people glaring at me in my sexual bathing suit, I didn't mean for this to happen!

4. Chafing. So much chafing.

No better feeling than four minutes into wearing short shorts realizing that your inner thighs are literally tearing themselves apart. Body Glide and baby powder are a thick girl's No. 1 necessity.

5. Loving rompers. Rompers not loving you.

Rompers are made with short and skinny girls in mind. Heaven forbid you're not short, and heaven forbid you're not skinny. Rompers are like a mystical article of clothing that, no matter what, always just barely doesn't fit.

6. Imagining wearing a sundress with a strapless bra and just laughing

Of course, not all thick girls are well-endowed in the boob department, but if you are, you understand how hilarious the thought of you wearing a strapless bra truly is.

7. And bralettes are a thing of fantasy

Once again, bralettes are designed for a very specific body type. One that I do not fall into.

8. Feeling like you need to constantly defend yourself for dressing like you want to

There are so many posts and tweets and just general ideals that people have that certain sized women can't wear certain clothing. You shouldn't feel the need to defend yourself for wearing a cute crop top or a bikini, but you will.

9. And always feeling looked at when you're rocking your swimsuit

Yes, I see your judging eyes, and yes, they are making me feel like shit. It doesn't matter how confident you are in your body, people looking at you like you just killed somebody just because you're wearing something typically made for smaller women doesn't make you feel good.

10. Did I mention chafing?

I just felt like something so horrible couldn't just be mentioned once.

11. Online shopping for cute summer outfits and then none of them fitting you correctly

There's always the dreaded "one-size-fits-all" for plus-size women. As if there's just one way to be plus-size. No matter how much they promise online that it'll fit well, it won't.

12. Seeing tiny girls complaining about losing their "summer bodies"

So many tweets talking about choosing food over a summer body. So many profile pictures of traditionally skinny women. I'm not saying that thick girls are the only ones who can complain about their summer bodies, and thick girls do not have a monopoly one not feeling confident in their bodies. But it is hard to see those posts knowing that those women would be glorified in their swimwear while you'd be gawked at.

13. The "you go girl!" comments on your oh-so-brave bikini photos

Compliments are nice, and positive comments while wearing a bikini go a long way. But the dreaded "you go girl" comment just seems so condescending. Just treat me like anyone else you'd see wearing a bikini. I promise, I'd like to feel like that.

Cover Image Credit: Sara Petty

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Dear Lila, You're Not Perfect But You Don't Need To Be

You didn't deserve all of this.


There are many things that I would like to tell you so let me begin with the most important lesson of all. You're not perfect but you don't need to be. You're everything that this world needs you to be and more, you are resilient and beautiful. You are all the things that you see in other people, somehow you don't see these things in yourself. Trust me when I say it makes all the sense in the world that you see yourself as flawed and broken but also find that you're that way without a cause.

This doesn't make it strange to be needy and broken, in fact, you're right as you should be.

You should know that letting a stranger put their hands on you will not make you whole, that giving yourself up so easily does not solve your problems or numb the pain. But it also doesn't make you all the things that people say you are. You see this matters, in the end, what you think of yourself matters more than what others think of you.

You are everything that you need to be and you are who you are today because of everything that you have been through. You never needed to search for love in physical affection, with those who didn't know you and those who didn't care. You needed to search for the love within yourself, and you need to understand that whether or not you believe it you are loved in all the ways that you'll need to be. There is so much love in your heart and you know that which is exactly why you should be spreading love to other people but also to yourself. Learning to love yourself is important and learning that your struggles and your life story are valid is just as important. You're not defined by pieces of paper that say what's wrong with you, you're not defined by the medication that you take every morning, you are not defined by the mistakes that you have made.

These mistakes that you have made are to be lessons and good ones at that. The lessons you learn from the mistakes you have made last you a lifetime and they will carry you through the difficult times and the heartbreaks and the loss because you are stronger than you think you are and you are more beautiful inside than you could ever imagine. Loving the wrong person can be a mistake too and it turned you blind. Losing him was the worst but everyone told you differently.

Being so young you think that the person that you're with is going to be the person that you're going to marry and that life is going to be happily ever after, that they can save you when they can't. The only person that can save you is yourself and I know that's not something that anyone wants to hear, especially when they're in love. It has to be said, this is such an important lesson and I'm so glad that I learned it. Without this lesson, I don't think that I would have ever found the man that I'm with today, I don't think that I would've felt whole over the past almost 3 years at all. I know that you have to save yourself and it is so much harder then you will ever think that it is, it is waking up every day and telling yourself out loud that you're important and telling yourself that you are caring and you are loving and you are kind.

Saving yourself as a choice, it is the choice you make every single day. Choosing to live your life with your own purpose and stop trying to please everyone else and proving everyone wrong is what is going to set you free. That's all you want, isn't it? You want to be free from the demons that haunted you your entire life, you want to feel like you can become something and you want to be able to maintain the feeling of joy and not give in to fears which can sometimes even be irrational. You don't need to prove yourself to anyone, only you. I know that things are hard and lonely sometimes and sometimes it feels like your stuck and you just want things to change overnight but they don't just go away because you want them to. In fact, they don't go away at all, you simply learn to live with them and use them to your advantage. I promise you things will get better but not without a little bit of help.

I know that it is hard to talk about the things that you have done to mask the pain that you've been living with for so long and that for the first time you have to be honest and there is nothing more painful than that and that I do know. No one has an excuse to hurt you, not because you were blackout drunk, not because you were too frozen to say no and certainly not because you are just a woman. This also means that you have no excuse to hurt yourself, that you have to love yourself and respect yourself so that other people can too. I need you to know that you are everything that you are for good reason and God made you as you are because that's exactly how He wanted you. You are loving and you are kind.

Why not give some of that loving and kindness to yourself for once?

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