Single on Valentine's Day. For some reason, it has a negative ring to it and honestly, that doesn't have to be the case. Being a college student, I hear a lot of people talking about how they wish they could have someone to be with so they could celebrate Valentine's Day. Then all over social media, you may see memes about single people on Valentine's Day and it often has them complaining about how alone they feel or even how happy they are not to have someone so they can look strong and independent. I want to share what I have learned over the years through personal and second-hand experience.
I hope you can get something from all that I share. So here are some things I'd like to address to all the singles out there.
1. Valentine's Day isn't about the lack of a romantic significant other
I am single and have been for several valentine's days, and I still have great memories from those days. My mom every year gets me my favorite chocolate candy and sometimes a stuffed animal just to show how much she loves me. I might not be in a romantic relationship, but I still have someone and many others in my life that are significant to me that I can show my love for and celebrate with. You can do the same. You don't need to spend the day telling yourself and social media how alone you are, because you most likely aren't alone.
2. There are couples who don't celebrate Valentine's Day
This is something that I feel not enough people hear about because it is true, there are couples who don't celebrate for many reasons. This can often include the fact that they want their significant other to feel so much love every day of the year or just throughout the year in general. I would also like to bring up the fact that, there is no real need for us single people to wish we were in a romantic relationship to celebrate this one day that even some couples don't celebrate themselves.
3. You don't have to make people feel bad about being in a relationship
Making others feel bad about being happy isn't necessary at any time. Learn to be happy for those who are happy. That is definitely something I personally have had trouble with at times but it doesn't mean I should want people to feel miserable because I might not be where I want to be in life. I'm sorry to break it to you, but it's not always about you and you have to be OK with that.
4. Take the day for you #treatyoself
For me, I often like to take days to spend time with myself, because I am one of the most significant people in my life. I deserve to show myself that I am loved and that can be tough for some people. I totally get that, and I believe that you can use Valentine's Day to appreciate what you love about yourself. Plus, you are not limited to just that one day to celebrate yourself, but what I'm not saying is go crazy and brag about being by yourself. I'm just saying it can be a day where you get to learn to care for you and spend time making you feel special in your own eyes. We all must learn to love ourselves in order for us to then love others.
5. Third wheeling doesn't have to be so bad
Now, I know third wheeling can be a tough situation sometimes, but it doesn't have to be seen that way. I have personally been a third wheel and even a 21st wheel in a group and I have often been nervous or bummed out in the beginning. But honestly, I have had some of the best times being the single person in the group. I have learned to have that confidence in myself where I don't have the need to feel horrible about not being coupled up. Even in the situations where you might be invited to hang out with a couple and it is just you three, that shouldn't be a time about you, but a time for you all to enjoy each other's company. Especially if they invited you, then they want your company.
6. "I don't have time for a relationship"
There are so many people who have said: "I don't have time for a relationship" or "I'm glad I'm not in a relationship" and then around Valentine's Day or other holidays they complain about not being in one. Now, this isn't meant to put them down in any way. What I want to do is just state that if you don't have time for a relationship, then you don't have time and you just might have to wait until you do have that time. It might stink but that is the reality and there really is no need to keep reminding people how much time you don't have for romance.
Here is the thing, if you really do want a relationship, then you will have to make time in your life for them. There is a chance there will never officially be a good time to be in a relationship, but you just have to push through that to make that person a priority. And if you are glad that you are not in a relationship, then I am happy that you feel confident enough to stay single, but there is no need to go around spreading that just so you can rub it in others faces. that is just petty, immature, and just not necessary.
7. You talk, they don't
So you are sitting there with your friend who is in a relationship and you are talking about how much you wish you were in a relationship or just things that are going on in your life. Then your not single friend changes the subject to something about their relationship and you get annoyed. This is an issue because you should want to hear about your friends' lives and be there for them especially when they need it. You want them to feel they can count on your support and love for the hard times. Also, I'm sure that they might not always want to hear about how single you are all the time, but they listen anyway because they love you and want to be there for you.
8. You might not be the problem
This, specifically, has been a struggle for me in many cases over the years. The reality is, just because no one is asking you out, chasing you around, or flirting with you all the time, does not mean there is something wrong with you. Sometimes it could be that a person that does like you just isn't ready to make it known, or it can just be a time to enjoy life as a single person. You are a whole person all on your own and you don't need someone else to complete you. You may even want to take the time to make sure you are working on improving yourself and being the best version of yourself so when that person does come around, you are ready.
9. You can still have fun
Celebrating Valentine's day doesn't have to be with someone you are in a romantic relationship with, it can be a day to celebrate and have a good time with your friends and family! Spending some quality time with the ones you love can be and is still just as special and you can still have the best Valentine's Day! Like I mentioned before, you can even have a good time just staying in and relaxing.
10. DON'T GO BACK TO THE EX
No matter how sad you might be or feel about not being in a relationship, do not use Valentine's Day be an excuse to reach out to your ex that you know is still single as well. There is a reason you are no longer with them and that they are in the past. you should leave them there because going backward in your life does not mean you are going forward. That is just a look of desperation and no one wants to be or even look desperate. You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them and in a healthy relationship.
I hope after reading this list, you don't feel discouraged but encouraged to not see singleness being this horrible thing whether on Valentine's Day or any other holiday, because you are special no matter your relationship status. You are loved and important, remember that.