I've been this girl. In fact, I currently am this girl. And before I even go any further, if this is you too, IT IS OKAY.
I think this world makes this holiday seem like this dramatic huge day to celebrate the fact that you're in a relationship, not who you are in a relationship with. Around this time of year, the jokes start to get made of "well here's another year of being alone on Valentine's Day!" But I think we all, including myself, use this as an excuse for how we feel every other day. I have had so many conversations about being insecure in singleness with friends, and it always points to the fact that we want a relationship's benefits, not the relationship itself. This says something on its own- don't get me wrong, being in a relationship has its perks and can teach a whole lot of lessons, but so can singleness.
I have been in one "serious" relationship, and although there have been some flings here and there, I have been single for long enough to realize how beneficial it can be. Coming out of a relationship is tough. Dealing with never having been in a relationship is tough. Being newly single is tough - Whatever the circumstance may be, know one thing. God is preparing your heart and using your independence to grow you as a person so that you can be the best version of yourself in a relationship.
As it says in 1 Corinthians 7:1-40, "I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord."
Singleness is not only building up your heart but preparing it for future relationships centered around Christ. How are we supposed to be successful in a relationship if we can't be successful on our own? How am I supposed to lead my spouse to God when my own faith is lacking?
When I was dating someone I became so dependent on them that I lost who I was as an individual in my character and my faith. My time being on my own has shown me my strengths, my beliefs, and what I can conquer on my own. I have grown in my own skin and used my experiences to figure out what I want and believe should come out of a future relationship and who I want to be as a single person. And not to mention, singleness is FUN!!
I know some days it might have its downs, but truly you have this time to be whoever you want to be. Expose yourself to whatever it is you want to experience, take new chances, and learn your beliefs all while growing and protecting your heart.
With this time of year coming up, remember patience pays off. Instead of looking down on yourself, take advantage of this time in your life and be whatever version of single you looks like. Get a group of friends together and celebrate each other- because, at the end of the day, this holiday is about more than the romantic side of things.
