23 Signs Your Relationship Is Toxic And You're Not 'Crazy'

I know you don't want to admit it, I never wanted to either, but your gut knows the reality.

May 26, 2020

The State University of New York at Stony Brook

234

23 Signs Your Relationship Is Toxic And You're Not 'Crazy'

Even though it was years ago, my mom randomly called me yesterday and apologized for not seeing all the red flags that were blaring in a previous relationship of mine. I stopped her in her tracks as I said the past is in the past and it always goes like that.

We don't want to see the toxic traits in our relationship. No matter how many times we experience red flags, it's hard to accept. It's easier to make excuses and look the other way than see all the bad things in a relationship that has become a part of you. But, the longer you stay in a toxic relationship, the more you start feeling like you're as "crazy" as they may or may not make you feel.

We all want a fairytale, but when our relationship is driving us up a wall, it's easier to blame yourself than the other person. I'm here to remind you that you are not crazy, but your relationship is toxic, and you deserve better. Better yet, you will find something magical!

I know you don't want to admit it, I never wanted to either, but your gut knows the reality. It's time to accept the truth and show life who's boss.

We can always look back and see the toxic signs of our broken relationships, but it's time to stand up to them right now. Here are 23 signs you should look out for:

Your partner controls who you see and who your friends are.

You are constantly interrogated and questioned.

You're always walking on eggshells attempting not to push their buttons.

You're the only one compromising.

Aggression has become an integral part in your partnership.

Your partner checks your location all the time with the intention to control your whereabouts.

Your partner has a lack of empathy for your feelings.

Your partner makes excuses after excuses after excuses.

Passive aggressive comments have become a norm.

Your partner constantly asks your friends and family where you are.

There is a mutual avoidance and mutual disrespect.

You always hear the words, "I'll change" or "I'll get better."

They are always checking your phone or prying about who you are talking to.

You're dating a narcissist.

There are secrets on both sides of the relationship.

You are keeping score of who did what and who said what.

Your partner controls what you wear.

You don't like talking to one another.

They're abusive (physically, mentally, and/or verbally) — sometimes without even realizing.

You're not included in big decisions.

You're no longer an individual, but have become just a girlfriend, boyfriend, or partner.

They control how you behave.

There is a lack of trust.

No matter the evident signs, sometimes it's hard to get out of a toxic relationship.

If you or a friend are experiencing abuse, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233

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23 Signs Your Relationship Is Toxic And You're Not 'Crazy'

I know you don't want to admit it, I never wanted to either, but your gut knows the reality.

Your partner controls who you see and who your friends are.

You are constantly interrogated and questioned.

You're always walking on eggshells attempting not to push their buttons.

You're the only one compromising.

Aggression has become an integral part in your partnership.

Your partner checks your location all the time with the intention to control your whereabouts.

Your partner has a lack of empathy for your feelings.

Your partner makes excuses after excuses after excuses.

Passive aggressive comments have become a norm.

Your partner constantly asks your friends and family where you are.

There is a mutual avoidance and mutual disrespect.

You always hear the words, "I'll change" or "I'll get better."

They are always checking your phone or prying about who you are talking to.

You're dating a narcissist.

There are secrets on both sides of the relationship.

You are keeping score of who did what and who said what.

Your partner controls what you wear.

You don't like talking to one another.

They're abusive (physically, mentally, and/or verbally) — sometimes without even realizing.

You're not included in big decisions.

You're no longer an individual, but have become just a girlfriend, boyfriend, or partner.

They control how you behave.

There is a lack of trust.

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This is just a quick response to a post I saw that basically shamed other people for how they choose to deal with their mental health.

Hozier is not just an amazing singer, but also an incredible songwriter.

1. "The only heaven I'll be sent to is when I'm alone with you."

2. "Would things be easier if there was a right way? Honey, there is no right way."

3. "No better version I could pretend to be tonight."

4. Babe, there's something so lonesome about you, something so wholesome about you."

5. "And I couldn't whisper when you needed it shouted."

6. "All you have is your fire and the place you need to reach. Don't ever tame your demons, but always keep 'em on a leash."

7. "It's not the waking, it's the rising."

8. "I will not as you where you came from, I will not ask you, neither should you."

9. "Babe, there's something so tragic about you, something so magic about you; don't you agree?"

10. "We'll lay here for years or for hours, your hand in my hand, so still and discreet."

11. "Her eyes and words are so icy, oh, but she burns like rum on fire."

12. "I've no language left to say it, all I do is crave to her."

13. "Honey, you're familiar like my mirror years ago."

14. "'Cause there's no better love that's laid beside me. There's no better love that justifies me, there's no better."

15. Give your heart and soul to charity 'cause the rest of you, the best of you, honey, belongs to me."

16. "'Cause with my mid-youth crisis all said and done, I need to be youthfully felt, 'cause God I never felt young."

17. "You and I nursing on a poison that never stung, our teeth and lungs are lined with the scum of it."

18. "There's an art to life's distractions; to somehow escape the burn weight. The art of scraping through."

19. "I turned and ran to save a life I didn't have."

20. "My lover's got humor, she's the giggle at a funeral. Knows everybody's disapproval, I should've worshipped her sooner."

21. "We tried the world, good God, it wasn't for us."

What came first: The chicken or the egg?

1. Is water wet?

2. Is a hot dog a sandwich?

3. Does a straw have two holes or one?

4. Is cereal considered soup?

5. Is a thumb a finger?

6. If you are at a restaurant and your waiter doesn't come back, are you the waiter?

7. Last but not least, which came first — the chicken or the egg?

18 objectives that need to be won before I can be tried as an adult.

Graduate in the top 20 of my class.

Get accepted into the WVU Reed College of Media.

Land a spot in the trumpet section at WVU.

Win Homecoming King.

Participate in the Fall Play & Spring Musical.

Obtain a CTE Certificate in Broadcasting Communications.

Pass my AP Tests.

Improve my photography skills.

Form an organization method that works for me.

Make great memories with my best friends.

Make someone feel special.

Let my creativity out into my daily life.

Write frequently.

Practice videography.

Paint more often.

Move out of my room.

Not care what others think about me as much.

Make sure I don't get caught up in meaningless high school drama.

Finish this article.

If it doesn't take you a full hour, you're doing it wrong.

1. The "welp"

2. The hugs

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