We’re told that college is the best four years of our lives. God forbid, because four years is much too short. And sometimes too rough.
Because of that, fellow university-aged students, I am in awe of us.
We manage to make it through -- past the anxiety that is keeping us locked in the apartment that is in no way our home, past the feedback that made us question ourselves and our abilities for the first time, past the comments that would be positive if they weren’t said with vindictive undertones, past the personality that we became known for that we sometimes wish we still had.
We make it through doubt and sadness and bursting into tears on the way to an internship that we know we should be so grateful to be driving to.
We make it through cruising past our beautiful palm tree-lined campuses and knowing that we are lucky to be where we are, in such a unique, majestic, one-of-a-kind institution. Yet we still try and deal with our emotions and being surrounded by beauty that begs appreciation can make it harder. We’re trying to deal with ourselves, our classes, our friends, the people we want to avoid, our boyfriends or girlfriends and whatever it is that is crippling us into not even wanting to go outside. One second of a negative emotion feels like wasted hours of our undergraduate time, and it compounds everything into even worse feelings.
When doubt gets in the way, it can take all year to learn how important it is to always keep hope alive.
My lovely college kids, this is why I look at you with awe:
You continue to do the thing. You hope.
It can be hard. And oh my gosh, when it’s hard? It is the hardest it has ever been.
But you continue to do the thing.
Because when it’s good? Man, it’s great.
The stress of balancing things, the being busy when we want a break, the taking the break and feeling as if something needs to be done, and the worry about the future can overwhelm us.
It can even be hard just to walk into Student Psychological Services, although we pass it every day. Even if we know how desperately we might need it that week. Because counteracting that is our previous knowledge of who we are — someone who would never think they would need therapy and someone who knows how to pull through and end up at their best.
Go ahead college kids who are taking care of themselves by going to a therapist, and to those who haven’t yet mustered up the courage to push open that door of opportunity for themselves, it’s okay.
A lot of us don’t talk about what’s going on. We might seem very confident, but sometimes, we just aren’t.
I never managed to make it to SPS, and because of that, I’m even more grateful for my friends. True lions right there.
So shout out to those people who remind us of our importance. Whether it be from the way friends gently lay their head on our shoulders or the way they always wait for us outside their dorm even though we’re consistently late to meet them, they convey our worth back to us.
If I wasn’t involved in any activities (literally impossible for me), and if I hadn’t made any friends (also impossible, I like people too much), I would not have been out of my housing area. Yet I was constantly out, thanks to having things to go to and people to be with.
My dear college kids, take it as a testament to who we are that we have such wonderful family and such wonderful friends. We know that they’re great, and they obviously think something special about us too.
Here are some things I learned from the people who surrounded me throughout this year:
1. Get involved
Community is the best aspect of any place that we will travel to.
2. Don’t get too involved
If we’re too busy, we can’t commit fully to each activity. Or to ourselves or to our relationships.
3. Get off campus
It’s a big world out there, and King Taco runs are a must. So is sitting on the top of our bright green car, eating corn enchiladas from Lucy’s and watching the Los Angeles night with our friend from orientation.
4. Stay on campus
We’ll miss it when we’re graduates. No place like the Bluff.
5. Social justice for life
Fight for something, and stay stubborn about it. Compromise for the greater good only.
6. Be present to each other
Leave the cell phone at home. Eye contact. Affection. It’s important. Don’t be afraid to be there. If you were afraid, try again. And do better when you get a second chance.
7. Learn
Stay encouraged to learn more about cultures, perspectives, languages, issues and life lessons.
8. Eat
But eat well. Drinking minimal water and mostly eating french fries from Iggy’s won’t really cut it for our health. Neither will Tatsu Ramen at 11 p.m., but at least it’s good for the soul.
9. Communicate
Talk. Be open. Maybe we’ll laugh, maybe we’ll cry. We tried. Apologize if need be.
10. Take it in
Each moment counts, and is fleeting. Your worst moments will lead you to your best.
11. If your heart isn’t breaking, you wasted your time
It’s hard to hurt, but if we’re hurting, congratulations. We’ve succeeded in being empathetic, open and compassionate and letting ourselves be changed for good.
12. There’s no place like hope
Doubt will try to ruin what we’ve got going for us. Don’t let hope say goodbye. Continually welcome it back in. And have a mat where it can wipe its shoes off and walk in anew.
13. If something is toxic for you, say goodbye and never look back
And play "You Got Me” by G-Eazy while you’re at it.
14. "Fall in love, stay in love, and it will decide everything"
The main poem you need while at a Jesuit Institution and for life.
Kick the pain to the curb, and smile at life.
Much love college kids. You’re the toughest, most inspirational people that I know right now. And I hope that you can say the same of yourself.
