"Just" is one of the most common words in the English language.
When you don't want to sound demanding in a text you send "Just wondering if you still want to grab dinner". Or when someone asks you what your job title is and you think it's incomparable to their job title, have you responded "Just a/an *insert profession*"?
Somewhere we developed a gray area between being humble and getting stepped on. And that's why we started adding "just" in front of our sentences. It's almost like we feel the need to apologize so we throw in the word "just".
One slant in the wrong direction comes off as overly confident or under qualified. We use word fillers, and words that justify that we are just like everyone else. But are we really just like everyone else? Cue the dreaded interview question "What makes you unique?"
I was listening to the Goal Digger podcast by Jenna Kutcher and she was interviewing her friend Rhiannon Bosse about seasons of life as an entrepreneur. If you haven't listened to her podcast, you're missing out! If there is anything you should know about Rhiannon Bosse, it's that she strives to make everyone she meets feel appreciated and loved. Which leads to why she is passionate about ditching the word "just".
In this specific podcast, Rhiannon talks about proving yourself even when you don't believe in yourself. Rhiannon said that we are all sensitive to people telling us we are not good enough, but it comes naturally for us to think "I'm failing because I'm not doing what everyone else is doing."
Have you personally been in that place?
And this is why the "just" word finds a home in our vocabulary.
The word just denotes every hill and valley it took to get to where we are today. For instance, I usually find myself saying "I'm just a writer" followed by a shrug. With that, I mean that I am not anything special, in fact, I feel extremely vulnerable and nervous whenever I submit an article. But if someone else called me "just a writer" I would feel compelled to explain all the challenges I've faced to get where I am today.
Part of our human nature is that we are sensitive to being devalued.
We hate feeling like we are not appreciated for something we want to scream from the peak of the mountain. This is why a bodybuilder's worst nightmare is being called "soft" and a mom's worst nightmare is having her child be behind on the growth chart.
But somehow we have no problem telling ourselves that we are unworthy of something great.
We begin to devalue everything we are proud of by saying "I'm just a/an (insert profession)".
If you're a nurse, you are not just a nurse.
You are a nurse who put in hours day and night to study the human body to make sure you were fully qualified to be around people in their most desperate time of need.
If you're a college graduate, you're not just a college graduate.
You have missed out because studying for a test was more important. You wanted to pursue something and you completed it even if there were challenges.
If you are a stay-at-home parent, you're not just a stay-at home parent.
You have decided that it would be best for you and your spouse to have designated roles. It works for your family to take care of your children during that season of life.
Lastly, if you're a working parent, you're not just a working parent.
You didn't leave your kids in the dust to pursue your own dreams. You decided that in order to be the best parent for your children, it would be best to pursue your career during the day. Don't be ashamed if you're equally passionate about your job and the well-being of your children.
No matter what your role is in life, own up to it and be proud of yourself. You should never feel the need to use word fillers to soften your thoughts. Be honest about how you feel but don't forget the hill you've walked.
Next time the word "just" pops into your head as the next word to say, think about everything it took to get where you are today. Do you really need to make yourself feel unappreciated or devalued?
