"Woah, mija! Look at your hair," my dad exclaimed jokingly.
Sure enough, my hair challenged Mufasa's giant mane. It was THAT frizzy. My family and I were celebrating my grandpa's birthday in Mexico, and I hadn't brought enough hair serum to combat the humidity in the air.
But hey! Cornrows would fix my problem, right?
Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
1. You WILL get awkward sunburn lines.
First, I sprayed sunscreen on my head the day after the worst mistake of my life. Then, my aunt sprayed the other half of the can on my head. Neither of our efforts could prevent the painful red streaks that appeared later that day.
2. Sleep is impossible.
Imagine sleeping on a bunch of tiny barbed wires. Triple that amount of pain, and you'll know exactly what it's like to try and fall asleep on an unfamiliar hotel rollaway bed. Not. Worth. It.
3. Negotiating kills time.
I ran into five vendors who offered to braid my hair-each offering a "special" price. I should've just gone with the first lady I met and gotten it over with.
4. Your mom will take a gazillion unflattering photos of you.
I was choking back tears while my Mom snapped ten times too many photos of this horrible experience.
5. Have I mentioned that IT HURTS?
After sectioning my hair into four sections with her tiny, prickly comb, the lady didn't hesitate to pull, twist, and yank each and every hair on my head. Goodbye frizz, hello headache.
6. More braids = more pain.
I instantly regretted choosing a hairstyle with four cornrows as soon as she had finished the first one. If you're going to try these braids, I suggest getting as few as possible.
7. Taking the braids out is a long and sloooowwww process.
As my tender head ached from the sunburn, I carefully took the time to pull each strand of hair out of its braid. It wasn't as awful as I thought it would be, because I was too consumed with the feelings of relief that washed over me.
8. Your head is still sore after untangling the braids.
My head felt better than before, but it took me quite a few days to get over the achey feelings.
9. Shampooing your hair is a nightmare.
In the shower that night, my fingers felt like metal nails scraping against my head. It wasn't pleasant at all. Although I usually love showers, I couldn't get out of there fast enough.
10. Kendall Jenner is the only girl who can rock cornrows.
OK, OK, so it is possible to look incredibly beautiful in cornrows, but I have warned you of the consequences!
Will I ever be getting cornrows again?
Will I look at girls with cornrows in a different light now?
Yes, I will cringe and sympathize with them all at once.