Alright, ladies. It's time for a good old fashion roast. Wanna know if you're alone in feeling totally confused by your man's likes and dislikes? Odds are, we are on the exact same page.
1. Rick And Morty
As promised, the first subject of my rant is Rick and Morty. I don't find one lick of humor in this gross show. Have you ever heard of "Critically Acclaimed" shows? Give 'em a whirl, boys.
None of you ever even get 1st place anyway, and THAT'S the tea on that, sis.
3. Not updating their Instagrams for 3 years at a time
We can't show our mom's a picture of you from freshman year of college when you were in the middle of hazing and forgot to wash your clothes for an entire semester. Have some respect for aesthetics.
4. Saying "bet" in instances where it doesn't make any sense
This one is just a huge question mark. What is the dictionary definition of "bet" in white boy language? I don't even think they know to be completely honest with you.
5. Watching videos on their phones at maximum volume
Are you partially deaf? Are you drowning me out? What is going on? YOU'RE BURSTING MY EAR DRUMS.
6. Pretending they're good at every single sport
We know that you're not. Everyone has their niche. Stop pretending you have world's sickest lay-up skills when your greatest athletic accomplishment was Little League.
7. Wearing shorts when it is really cold outside
We can see your goose bumps! Put pants on! Why do they do this? Why?!
8. Pretending they're not mama's boys when 90% of the time, they are
We all love our mama's, guys. You don't need to pretend that you don't. We actually find it endearing. Are any of you listening? Forget it.
9. Wearing one pair of tennis shoes exclusively until they buy another pair that look exactly the same
We all have a favorite pair of shoes, but they take it to a whole new level. Nike will never go out of business. You've made it abundantly clear.
Don't get me wrong, we all love the men in our lives, whether they be our brother, boyfriends, or besties. Sometimes, we just have to call you out on your quirks to show you who's boss around here.
You can go back to your game now.