Ever since we were kids, celebrity crushes were a hot topic of debate among friends from gossip to M.A.S.H. With the release of a new album, show or movie, society's collective agreement on whose hottest can change in an instant. When I was a kid it was Johnny Depp after the release of Pirates of the Caribbean, now its Michael B. Jordan after Black Panther showed us his dangerously sexy side.
These conversations were awkward for me back then, because instead of Depp or the NSYNC boys, I was obsessed with Angelina Jolie and, embarrassingly, a lot of animated female characters. This topic actually didn't get easier after I came out as a lesbian though, because there are still some men of the media that I would jump on in a heartbeat if given the opportunity.
One of the only good things about being grown now is that couples are able to only half-jokingly speculate which 5 celebrities they could get a "free pass" for if given the opportunity to hook up with them without it counting as cheating. The idea is outlandish for most people, but I know I'm not the only one that secretly hopes the stars will align one day.
I've come up with a list of famous folks that will make you seriously reconsider your Celebrity Sex List, and possibly your entire identity, in no particular order. But don't worry, because these 12 are pretty enough, you could use them as a free pass from questing your orientation, too.
1. Angelina Jolie
I am unabashedly opening with Angelina Jolie. Not only is she one of the most beautiful women in the world, but she also has a beautiful soul, too. She and Brad have collectively had my heart since Mr. and Mrs. Smith and if they were still together he'd be up in here too. That said, she is our first bisexual babe to have become recently single, so we all might have a marginally better chance than originally speculated.
Not only is she gorgeous, but she's one of the most legendary artists to ever walk the Earth. Do it for the experience alone, but the bragging rights wouldn't be too bad either.
3. Idris Elba
People's Sexiest Men Alive finally got one right after the embarrassment of Blake Shelton in 2017. He's only the third non-white person to earn the title (they apparently have finally run out of OK-ish looking white men to give it to), but it was well earned and long overdue.
4. Channing Tatum
This bisexual butterfly's body is sculpted only slightly lesser than the artistry that was put into his face and is single as of 2018. When I heard that, I'm sure all my friends from middle school had a heart attack.
In high school I had a friend tell me—consciously, on purpose, with his mouth, in English—that he would never touch Rihanna because she's black. Ignoring the blatant racism of it all, it's still one of the stupidest things I've ever heard and anyone should count themselves lucky to spent one night, or even 5 seconds, with this goddess.
P.S. Last I heard he's not exactly thriving life. There's a lesson in that.
6. Liam and Chris Hemsworth
In all honesty, I just couldn't decide which one out of the two to pick, so consider this a two-for-one special. This family has got some super genes, but unfortunately, that can't be said for their taste in romantic partners. I'm looking at you, Liam.
7. Priyanka Chopra
This woman is and will be my forever crush. On screen and in pictures she absolutely radiates beauty from her sultry voice, perfectly proportioned body and the second coming of Jesus that is her face. I still stand by what I said in The Woman Of My Dreams Told By 12 Of The Best TV Show Characters, and Nick will never be able to treat her as well as I would. Still holding out for the chance to prove that.
8. A$AP Rocky
This pretty boy isn't just successful in the music industry—he knows how to make his prettiness to work for him too. A$AP is no stranger to the fashion industry, appearing in campaigns for Dior, Alexander Wang, and Calvin Klein to name a few, and isn't afraid to embrace femininity in his personal style.
Incidentally, that makes him even more attractive.
9. Ruby Rose
This genderfluid babe is holding it down to the trans community, exemplifying all the best in androgyny. She is delicate and feminine while also being dominant and edgy, rendering her the ultimate human. We must all bow to her.
10. Zac Efron
I almost didn't include him because a bunch of dummies have been getting the hots for Ted Bundy after his portrayal in the recent movie, but he's on the Rob Lowe-level of teenage-heartthrob. I think I can speak for all of us when I say the world will never be the same after we got to see him and Vanessa Hudgens make out in High School Musical.
11. Jason Momoa
This man is built like a tree and deserves to be climbed like one. Like A$AP he is no stranger to modeling but spent the majority of his career in film, having just starred in Aquaman, so if he doesn't play Maui in the live action of Moana, there's no justice in the world.