1. The Snacker
Probably the most common excuse to stop working or to push off an assignment is the munchies. This person can convince themselves that they absolutely cannot focus on their work without their favorite snack…and drink… and something sweet… ah need another drink… oops the bowl is empty… oh look its almost dinner time yay!
2. The Perfectionist
This is the person that will spend three hours on their art project to avoid the one hour of history. Or maybe they just can’t get something right, so they will dedicate their time to make it perfect, even if that time was originally intended for homework.
3. The Cleaner
We all know (and love) that one person in our lives that seems to use the process of cleaning and decluttering to alleviate their stress or in this case to perfect their working environment to promote optimum productivity. It just so happens they never seem to be done cleaning for some reason.
4. The Athlete
Slightly less common, this individual is usually unable to sit still for more than an hour. This person will go on a four mile run to “get focused”; they will come back home, shower (because they can’t work stinky, who can work efficiently when they small like a wet dog?), eat (because they are hungry after a long run and need to rejuvenate themselves in order to focus), and then take a break (because they just went on a run, showered, and ate! They need time to chill and get into the right mindset).
5. The Breakdowner
This person is usually under an extraordinary amount of stress. When they get under too much pressure they lose the ability to properly asses rational decisions. These people may have at some point thought: Will I be exempt from turning in my essay if I break my leg? Maybe I should just start screaming and feign insanity, might hurt less.
6. The Talker
This is the person who will stop what they are doing in order to have a very long, maybe very deep conversation with the next person that so much as looks at them. It does not even matter if they know or even like their chatting buddy very much, because talking to someone they don’t really like beats the essay in their room.
7. The Justifier
Many types of procrastinators are an extension of the justifiers, they all rationalize the procrastination of one job buy being productive with another. However, the true justifier is the person who is able to justify pushing off an assignment by doing absolutely nothing productive in return. Some examples: “No, I didn’t call him, but did you know that the billionth digit of π is 9?” “I just finished an entire season of Supernatural without getting up! This is a serious experience that I needed, I can do the laundry tomorrow.” “I didn’t finish my homework, but hey, I now know seven different ways people procrastinate! Knowledge is power”
