College is a great experience and arguably the best years of one's life. It is also arguably the scariest. Here are 20 sentences that will trigger any college student.
1. "Attendance is mandatory"
It's not that I think mandatory attendance is a bad idea, all in all, we (rather us, our parents, and taxpayers) are paying for this class no matter how arbitrary it is, but that's the thing: the professors are getting paid whether we show up or not. So, it's unfair of them to push mandatory attendance when whether I show up or not doesn't truly affect them. College students balance multiple classes, work, and self-care. It should be up to us to go to class, we are adults. So, if we need a day off, we shouldn't have to give that up just so our grade doesn't suffer.
2. Blue books are required for the midterm and final
Is a college ruled piece of paper really not that sufficient?
3. "Insert overpriced textbook here. Required."
If you're not yet broke enough from paying for tuition, living, and other expenses don't you worry. Required textbooks will be sure to fix that.
4. "No extra credit will be offered"
Maybe if I ask the last week of class the professor will have had a change of heart. Probably not, but we'll hope.
5. "I will not answer emails unless they are correctly formatted and includes all information needed"
Have you ever felt tension build up as you're right about to send a risky or emotional text to a partner or friend? It's the same feeling when you're about to email a professor, just much worse.
6. "The final is cumulative"
Every time I finish an exam I empty my brain of all information regarding it in preparation for the next chapter or section to follow. Efficient for the time being? Yes. Effective for the final? Definitely not.
7. "Any missed assignments due to illness must have a doctor's note"
Missing a class for mental health reasons can be just as or even more important than not going to class for a physical ailment; except it doesn't usually come with a doctor's note to back it up.
8. "Participation is a grade"
If I was excited for college for one reason it was due to my misconception that participation as a portion of your grade ends in high school, I was proven wrong.
9. "Registration hold"
I understand I should have this semester paid before scheduling for classes next semester, but life doesn't always allow that.
10. "No WiFi connection"
It always seems to happen during pertinent internet use times, never when I'm just on Netflix.
11. "Room checks are this week between the hours of 9 AM and 9 PM at random"
At least these weeks usually force you to clean your room daily.
12. "Scattered showers are expected all of tomorrow"
My keds cannot stand another day in the rain. Rain boots and umbrellas are a must.
13. "This high school credit doesn't transfer"
Not like I could have been doing something else senior year than breaking my back over AP classes whose credit didn't even transfer.
14. "Exam scores are posted. The average grade was a 76%"
Don't strive to do well, strive to be above the mean.
15. "This is a 3000 level course so it requires 3000 level effort"
Well, I have about 3000 other things to do too.
16. "Say your first name, major, and something interesting about you"
Kaylee, political science, and I hate icebreakers.
18. "If you didn't write 'last name, first name' you got points taken off"
In high school we worried about getting points off due to forgetting to write our names. In college we worry that we won't write our name in the correct order.
19. "What job are you going to get with that major?"
I'm not sure. Maybe I'll get a job berating people over the major they chose which doesn't have "excellent" job options.
20. "Contact TopHat if the app isn't connecting to WiFi. You won't get your points back for the day if the app is crashing, though"
Yes, because the school's WiFi is my fault.
These sentences may be triggering, but are inevitable. All things have their ups and downs, college is no exception.
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