As a kid, using a public restroom could be a terrifying experience not because of the germs but because of the noise. I would grip my ears when the toilet flushed or when the hand dryer was on and try to run out of the bathroom as quickly as possible. Certain bathrooms I would avoid altogether because of how loud they were, like the park district bathroom with the metal toilet and the loud startling flush.
I was terrified of the bathtub drain when I was little because of the loud gurgling sound it made that would startle me. I thought I would outgrow being scared of loud noises. As I got older I would purposely try to not plug my ears and overcome my fear. I thought sometimes it worked, but if I'm honest, I'm just as sensitive now as I was when I was six.
I avoid the hand dryers in bathrooms preferring to leave my hands wet rather than deal with the loud sound of the dryer. Loud, invasive, unexpected noises are so unpleasant they disrupt my thinking, all I can do is try to get through the noise or get away from it.
But bathrooms aren't the only traumatizing noises. I find background noises troubling too, fans or vents or machines that run in the background. And don't get me started on the long list of other triggers: thunder, doors slamming, shouting, screaming, babies crying, dogs barking, stomping, airplanes, intercoms, loud telephone ringing, doorbells, knocking, loud or busy music, loud voices, too many voices or noises at once, alarms, power tools, vacuums, the list goes on but these are some of the worst ones.
My sensitivity is so extreme it can disrupt everyday life and cause me to lose all focus or be scared. And this is not just something kids struggle with. If you have sensory processing issues or sensitivity you never outgrow it and I learned that the hard way. You try to learn to deal with it and ignore it and mostly just avoid any situations you know will cause an overload.
Crowds and parties are debilitating for me. There are so many different noises, smells, and movement at once, I begin to panic and have to find a corner to sit and try to distract myself. Often this just means awkwardly sitting in the corner and rocking, trying not to plug my ears until it's over.
One life savior for me especially when vacationing, being surrounded by people being noisy, or traveling on a plane, has been my noise-canceling headphones, but in certain social situations, it would be considered rude to wear headphones, so I don't get to use them as much as I would like.
Even simple, seemingly pleasant things to some people can be overwhelming and painful. Music that is too loud and busy, with too many different sounds or instruments can make me panicky and want to scream.
And these are only the auditory issues. I'm also sensitive to things like touch and smell that can make it equally hard to focus and when I'm overwhelmed by multiple senses at once it can lead to a breakdown. Even eating food is hard when there are noises and smells distracting me from focusing on tasting and chewing my food that is hard enough sensory-wise as it is. And foods that are too mushy I just can't deal with.
It's not just certain kids that have sensory issues, adults do too and it can make simple everyday things a challenge. It's not that we don't want to have fun or that we are angry or loners, often it's just all the noise and other senses are too overwhelming to focus, making going certain places and doing certain things that should normally be fun quite painful.
