When it comes to social media platforms, “Send nudes” is often joked about and said freely without much thought. I mean there’s even a “National Send Nudes” Day (not official peeps).
So let’s say today is “National Send Nudes” Day. You decide to ask someone for nudes but they say no; it is only right to respect their request. But what about when the roles are flipped? You decide to just send a nude to someone out of the blue — as a “surprise.” There’s nothing wrong with that, right? It’s your picture and your body so no harm no foul?
WRONG.
It’s important to understand that nudes, whether sending or receiving, should follow the same rules of sex: Always ask for consent.
I know you may have heard the consent talk 1,000 times, but let’s make it 1,001. When someone sends a nude without warning it could come off as disrespectful, selfish, and inconsiderate. Here’s how:
1. Nudes make the recipient uncomfortable
Nudes are a preference at the end of the day. Some people don’t like to send them, some people don’t like to receive them, some people don’t want anything to do with them. And their wants should be respected. If you have a problem with that then you may want to consider parting ways before it gets ugly.
2. The recipient may be at a location that is not appropriate for nudes.
The mall, class, an award ceremony, a family dinner. The possibilities are endless. It is embarrassing if they open the photo in a public setting. But it is also important to acknowledge the possibility that someone else may be using the recipient's phone and end up seeing the picture. Now someone you didn’t intend on seeing your nude has seen it and/or the unintended viewer now is uncomfortable. Just a sticky situation that can be avoided.
3. You may not know about the recipient's past.
The person you’re sending these surprise nudes to may have a past that has scarred them. The recipient may be dealing with sexual trauma from rape or sexual assault and nudes act as a trigger for them.
The list goes on but the point is COMMUNICATION IS KEY!
When you ASK, you get a clear answer on whether or not that person likes or dislikes nudes. When consent is established, it is easy to avoid situations where someone is offended or your personal photos could fall into the wrong hands.
So talk it out. Have an open dialogue. If the two of you have a clear understanding of the other’s wants then there won’t be many issues down the road. And if you're not comfortable with asking for permission, well...
