I asked a guy friend of mine why he thinks so many girls love Sex and the City. His response: “ Uhh…I don’t know, because its just more girls talking s**t about guys, sex and money.” Riveting, I know. But then I thought, who could blame him? Men, even women for that matter, who have not watched the show continuously throughout the years could easily misinterpret the show's message.
To some, Sex and the City is a group of money hungry, scantily clad white women gossiping about their sex lives, but to me, and all the other die hard fans of the series, it is so much more. There are many lessons I have learned from my favorite four friends, but the one I find most powerful, especially during and post college years, is to be selfish.
Below are some of the many ways Carrie Bradshaw taught me when being selfish is not actually selfish at all. The times when be selfish means being strong, smart and self-respecting.
Romantically
Think back to season six when Carrie was dating “The Russian.” Her famous artist boyfriend, Alexandr Petrovsky, (despite being a tad creepy and a little too emotional for my taste) seemed like the perfect catch. In fact, Carrie almost ended up with him. She even moved to Paris for him but see, that was the issue. It was for him not for her.
Carrie spent some time trying to convince herself the move was with him, but when she is finally honest with herself she knew Paris was not for her and that the person she was in that relationship was not who she wanted to be. So, she leaves the Russian and Paris for her life back in NYC.
Lesson learned: When a relationship changes you in a way that does not respect, appreciate or encourage you to be you -- choose yourself and get out.
Financially.
Carrie’s priorities when it comes to spending money are debatable. I would definitely suggest not dropping $600 to $2,000 dollars on a pair of Monolo Blahnik’s as a college student, but that’s beside the point. Point is that she can buy all the shoes and handbags she wants because it’s her money.
Carrie Bradshaw relies on no one to pay her bills. She made the decision to build a career that supports the kind of lifestyle she wants to live. We watched as people made light and doubted Carrie’s work throughout the years, but she knew what she wanted to do. So, she silenced all the negativity and climbed her way up the latter to Vogue.
Lesson learned: Be able to financially support yourself. Make money doing what you want to do, so you can spend it on things that you want. Say “screw you” to anyone who tries to tell you cannot accomplish your dreams and let them stare at your butt as you pass over them to climb your way up the latter to your future.
Emotionally.
Carrie is girl’s girl and holds on to her three best friends (Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte) with every ounce of her being. She is loyal to them, listens to them and confides in them. Some people would describe the group's communication style as gossiping, but in a group of true friends it is anything but. Carrie knows she deserves to have a group of people who you can share herself and her life with and chooses to make maintaining these relationships a priority in her life.
Lesson learned: Whether it is in family or friends you have a right to express yourself, discuss your life and gain opinions. So, take the time you need to cherish these relationships and keep yourself sane. Relationships like the one Carrie and her friends’ share take precedence in your life and that is nothing to be ashamed of.
Socially.
Over the years, Carrie does a lot of dating. This can be perceived as a little slutty but I would like to highlight a more important point, that is Carrie breaks up with men or does not start relationships with men unless she sees a future. This shows that Carrie is okay with being single.
Jokes and side comments about her age and relationship status fly freely throughout the series, but Carrie knows better than to settle. Carrie is okay with being by herself and exploring the dating the world until she finds her Mr. Right.
Lesson learned: Embrace the single life. There is nothing wrong with being single and certainly no rush to get married. Do not settle for anything but the best or anyone but Mr. or Mrs. Right. Take this single time to make good with yourself and everything else will fall into place.
“It wasn’t about . . . choosing a man or choosing a bag or choosing a life. It was about, choose yourself.” --Michael Patrick King
