6 Tips For Selflessness

6 Tips For Selflessness

Our compassion and acts of selflessness take us to the deepest truths
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We live in a world where we all focus on ourselves. We focus on is best for us! What we want to do, what we need, what we want to eat. We are so concerned with ourselves, we forget about others.

Now imagine a world where we were all selfless. We cared about what others wanted, what others needed and sometimes we did things for others without even knowing.

We all know someone whose selfless, these are the people that impact our lives the most. The most selfless person I know was my Papaw, Bill. He was a small business owner with a heart of gold. He was the most selfless person. He was always willing to help others and was happy to do it.

He was the gentleman that would do things in life and not expect a single thing out of it. For 17 years he donated a large Christmas tree to Noblesville high school and many people were unaware where this tree came from. The tree brought happiness to so many people. It’s the little things in life like a tree that made so many people happy because Bill was such a selfless person. He was a small business owner, the strived for all the old-style customer service.

These little things that he taught his employees about learning to be selfless. Doing things for others to simply make them happy, and not expecting a dime in return.

The goal of all of us should be learning how to be selfless. Here are a few things to help us begin to become more selfless….

Think about others

Walking down the street, showering, doing homework, eating…. All the time! Think about other people. When we constantly have others on our mind it helps us learn to put others first. Always have others on your mind, think about their feelings. Feelings are the most important things to people and we need to make sure to consider these. If we think about how our actions will affect someone else, we can learn to always make people happy and not accidentally hurt people

Learn the little things

The littlest things you do for people sometimes have the largest impacts. Learn your best friend’s friends favorite candy or drink. If they’re having a bad day at work take it to them, no matter how busy you are. If your girlfriend is kind of clumsy and always drops her toothpick after dinner, simply take more than one when you leave. She might not always need it, but the times she does you’ll have it for her. This will make her so happy that your thinking about her. If your significant other likes it when you simply grab their hand in public, do it! Find out what little things the people in your life enjoy and make an effort to do them. These little things may take you 5 seconds but will make the person in your life so happy.

Their problems are your problems

When the people in your life are going a tough time, it is your problem. Take them under your wing and help them. Help them find the things in their life that make them happy. Take time out of your day and support them. Search for the solution with them. Sometimes all that special someone needs is to know that they can talk to you about their problems and you’ll care and help them.

Be available

Don’t be too busy to help someone. Make time for the people that matter in your life. If someone needs you, make time for them. Find the precious hours to spend time with the people that matter. Nothing is more important than sharing time. Time is the precious thing you can give someone and never get back.

The old things

Open a door for someone, load their groceries, smile. These are the things that use to be normal, but we don’t see so much because everyone is living a selfless life. If you want to become more selfless, do these things. Holding a door for someone takes an extra two seconds, but that could make someone’s day. Compliment or smile at a stranger, this could make them show someone cares about them.

No thanks needed

The biggest part of being selfless is doing things and expecting nothing in return. When you do things in this crazy world, learn to do things to make others happy. When you complete things, don’t always expect a thank you. A thank you is just a bonus. Leave that soda on the teacher’s desk and don’t claim that you did that. Leave a note on your significant others car. You don’t always have to be with the selfless act for it to count. Simply knowing you changed someone day should be more than plenty.

Being selfless in this crazy world we live in might be something that you have to work at but in the end, it will impact other peoples lives. Live in a world where you look at what others need and want as well. When you learn to help others your happiness will increase, and you will be impacting peoples lives. These few things will show people how much you really care and the act of being selfless will make you known.

Bill is a gentleman that is known very well in his community. People respected him, and he left a great legacy. He inspired and still inspires others to lead a better life. He changed peoples’ lives for the better simply for being himself.

We all want to leave a positive impact when we leave this world, and the act of being selfless will help you get there. Leave a positive impact on someone’s life today.

I leave you with something to think about:

Selfish people will never see the beauty of love.

They can’t comprehend why there is joy in serving another person and loving them without expecting anything back.

Selflessness is foolishness to them.

Cover Image Credit: Kendall Gatewood

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'Mom, I Am A Rich Man'

Cher owned it, and you can, too.
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Most likely if you’re on any social media platform, you’ve seen the iconic video of Cher in an interview with Jane Pauley telling the story of her mother telling Cher that one day she should settle down and marry a rich man, to which Cher replies, “Mom, I am a rich man.”

*Disclaimer: Don’t worry boys, this article will still pertain to you, too.

In the days of “Mad Men” and Andy Griffith, the family unit was very much structured and known: a mother, who made the home and raised several kids, and a father, who earned the money for the household. There was never any confusion as to how one was to live one’s life, because every individual knew that this was the structure to follow. Be born. Make friends. Play. Grow up. Go to school. Meet someone. Possibly attend college. Marry. Have multiple children. Follow gender-assigned role. Repeat for next generation.

Then one day, the world began to change.

Women began attending college for more than an MRS degree. Divorce rates began to increase. Individuals began staying single for longer. Couples began having fewer kids and also having kids later in life. Homosexuals and other members of the LGBTQ community started coming out and sharing their voices. Schools were finally being desegregated. Technology was beginning its exponential growth, and the world woke up.

Cher’s mother was raised to believe these were the next steps Cher should take in life, just as probably similarly your parents have made comments to you that you do not believe line up with your generation’s viewpoint in today’s society. You’ve probably come to already realize that this is a generational gap between you and your parents; however, this is not the topic I want to focus on today. I want to talk about the concept of the individual unit.

Earlier on, I spoke about the '60s family unit. Back then, that was the unit. Even while there were several different roles within a family unit, every family made decisions and moved together. Today, we move into the individual unit. We have gone from making decisions on how we think they would impact the family onto how they will impact the individual. Often, people think negatively on this way of decision making, because isn’t it selfish to makes decision based off oneself?

The answer is… no.

Now before I get some serious hate for that statement, let me back it up. For all my business majors out there (yes, I am one myself), you’ve likely taken or will likely have to take an economics course. One of the basic goals of economics is maximizing profit, which is sometimes depicted as not focusing on how large your slice of the pie is but determining how to make the pie as large as possible. Let’s take this back to the family and individual units.

When decisions were made based on how they would affect the family unit, sometimes the decisions of one individual would hold back the others within the family from “maximizing their profit” or maximizing their potential. Perhaps this was staying home to raise the kids rather than following a career path that interested the parent. This may have been staying in an unhappy marriage to follow society’s standards rather than leaving the marriage and benefiting one’s family more by being happy alone. Although at first glance, these sacrifices may have seemed heroic and for the best for the family unit, looking back the alternatives may have actually put the individuals of the family in a happier place which would have reflected in the long run positively on the rest of the family.

Maximizing your potential is maximizing your happiness, and vice versa. We often think that to be successful and have an abundance of money must make us an evil person to be so selfish. We think that the phrase “money doesn’t buy happiness” means that money equals success and therefore if we’re successful we’re not actually happy even if we think we are. That idea is often what holds so many back from their greatest potential.

To be successful doesn’t mean that one can’t look back and help the people from their past and their family up the ladder once they’ve reached the top. To be successful doesn’t mean that one can never marry or multiply their happiness in others surrounding them, friends, family, spouse, children and all. To be successful means that one takes a step back, looks around, and asks, “Am I the happiest I can be at this present moment? And if not, what can I do to take myself there?”

It’s with those answers that we maximize our potential and growth. It is in our growth that we find gratitude for our efforts. It is in our gratitude that we find happiness in all that we have become.

XOXO, Isa

Cover Image Credit: David Carroll

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Poetry On Odyssey: Conflicted

Resolving conflict and letting love back in.

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As life moves quickly,

It is to no surprise

That we are constantly faced with change.

With change

Comes peace.

With change

Comes suffering.

With change

Comes conflict.

I stroll through the days of old,

Recognizing how conflicted I was

When I chose to let the love go.

Each night I tossed,

Each night I turned,

Feeling unsure of my decisions,

Unsteady every time I dragged my legs from the bed

And forced myself to keep moving.

Today,

I walk happily through the days of new,

Giving thanks for my peace of mind

And my allowance to let a new love in.

I no longer toss,

I no longer turn.

I feel a sense of security

And a sense of pride in my decisions.

I walk steadily,

As I no longer have to force myself to keep moving.

I am no longer conflicted.

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