​Self-Care Isn’t Always Pretty

​Self-Care Isn’t Always Pretty

But we have to do it anyway.
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On the whole as a society, when we think of the term, “self-care” we think of fuzzy blankets, tea, bubble baths, and string lights in our rooms. We tend to think of taking the day off from work or class, sleeping in, eating comfort food, maybe some meditating, and just letting ourselves rest for the day. That’s all well and good, but there comes a point where that is hurting you more than it’s helping you.

Self-care isn’t always pretty. It’s not always putting on a fuzzy bathrobe and drinking hot cocoa. When you go through a period of time when you’re struggling, and you’ve been putting off responsibilities at every turn, eventually you reach the point where blowing off said responsibilities is the exact opposite of self-care.

Loving yourself isn’t always pleasant. A huge part of loving yourself is doing things that your future self will thank you for. When it finally gets to be too much, and for the third day in a row you feel like you don’t have the physical strength to get out of bed, I promise you that you can. You can do it, and your future self, even the future self as close as tomorrow, will thank you for getting up, showering and putting on something besides the pajamas you’ve been wearing for a week.

Sometimes loving yourself means you have to force yourself to do the things that you’ve been dreading, or confront the issues that you’ve been too drained to address. The frilly image of self-care that everyone has in their heads is only conducive for a very specific spectrum of situations. But more often than not taking care of yourself means managing to drag yourself out of bed and doing your chores so you have clean clothes to wear and dishes to eat off of. It means making yourself go to the store so you have fresh food in the house to eat, because you know those leftovers are beginning to become questionable.

Self-care is exactly what it sounds like: it’s taking care of yourself. And that means you have to do the things necessary to give yourself a happy, healthy life. Which means yes, sometimes you have to treat yourself to a day where you turn your phone off and watch Netflix all day, but it also means that you need to get up, wash the sheets on your bed, take out the trash, and open the textbook that has been staring at you from your backpack for the last four days, because you have an assignment due tomorrow that you haven’t even looked at yet.

Struggling with stress, mental health issues, and just the overload of responsibilities that life can throw at us in general can be difficult to deal with and extremely overwhelming. And I am not writing this to diminish the fact that sometimes all you really need is a day where you don’t do anything. But you have to keep in the back of your mind that there is a balance to everything that you do and don’t do. Constantly deciding that, “not today” is the right answer will hurt your mental state more in the long-run. There comes a point when you need to make the active decision to do the not-so-fun parts of taking care of yourself. But more often than not, those are the most important parts.

Cover Image Credit: http://weheartit.com/entry/231015582/in-set/106435150-misc-aesthetics-home?context_user=All_InProcess&page=4

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15 Things Only Lake People Will Understand

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.
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The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people. Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look. Every year when summer rolls back around, you can't wait to fire up the boat and get back out there. Here is a list of things you can probably identify with as a fellow lake-goer.

1. A bad day at the lake is still better than a good day not at the lake.

It's your place of escape, where you can leave everything else behind and just enjoy the beautiful summer day. No matter what kind of week you had, being able to come and relax without having to worry about anything else is the best therapy there is. After all, there's nothing better than a day of hanging out in the hot sun, telling old funny stories and listening to your favorite music.

2. You know the best beaches and coves to go to.

Whether you want to just hang out and float or go walk around on a beach, you know the best spots. These often have to be based on the people you're with, given that some "party coves" can get a little too crazy for little kids on board. I still have vivid memories from when I was six that scared me when I saw the things drunk girls would do for beads.

3. You have no patience for the guy who can’t back his trailer into the water right.

When there's a long line of trucks waiting to dump their boats in the water, there's always that one clueless guy who can't get it right, and takes 5 attempts and holds up the line. No one likes that guy. One time my dad got so fed up with a guy who was taking too long that he actually got out of the car and asked this guy if he could just do it for him. So he got into the guy's car, threw it in reverse, and got it backed in on the first try. True story.

4. Doing the friendly wave to every boat you pass.

Similar to the "jeep wave," almost everyone waves to other boats passing by. It's just what you do, and is seen as a normal thing by everyone.

5. The cooler is always packed, mostly with beer.

Alcohol seems to be a big part of the lake experience, but other drinks are squeezed into the room remaining in the cooler for the kids, not to mention the wide assortment of chips and other foods in the snack bag.

6. Giving the idiot who goes 30 in a "No Wake

Zone" a piece of your mind.

There's nothing worse than floating in the water, all settled in and minding your business, when some idiot barrels through. Now your anchor is loose, and you're left jostled by the waves when it was nice and perfectly still before. This annoyance is typically answered by someone yelling some choice words to them that are probably accompanied by a middle finger in the air.

7. You have no problem with peeing in the water.

It's the lake, and some social expectations are a little different here, if not lowered quite a bit. When you have to go, you just go, and it's no big deal to anyone because they do it too.

8. You know the frustration of getting your anchor stuck.

The number of anchors you go through as a boat owner is likely a number that can be counted on two hands. Every once in a while, it gets stuck on something on the bottom of the lake, and the only way to fix the problem is to cut the rope, and you have to replace it.

9. Watching in awe at the bigger, better boats that pass by.

If you're the typical lake-goer, you likely might have an average sized boat that you're perfectly happy with. However, that doesn't mean you don't stop and stare at the fast boats that loudly speed by, or at the obnoxiously huge yachts that pass.

10. Knowing any swimsuit that you own with white in it is best left for the pool or the ocean.

You've learned this the hard way, coming back from a day in the water and seeing the flowers on your bathing suit that were once white, are now a nice brownish hue.

11. The momentary fear for your life as you get launched from the tube.

If the driver knows how to give you a good ride, or just wants to specifically throw you off, you know you're done when you're speeding up and heading straight for a big wave. Suddenly you're airborne, knowing you're about to completely wipe out, and you eat pure wake. Then you get back on and do it all again.

12. You're able to go to the restaurants by the water wearing minimal clothing.

One of the many nice things about the life at the lake is that everybody cares about everything a little less. Rolling up to the place wearing only your swimsuit, a cover-up and flip flops, you fit right in. After a long day when you're sunburned, a little buzzed, and hungry, you're served without any hesitation.

13. Having unexpected problems with your boat.

Every once in a while you're hit with technical difficulties, no matter what type of watercraft you have. This is one of the most annoying setbacks when you're looking forward to just having a carefree day on the water, but it's bound to happen. This is just one of the joys that come along with being a boat owner.

14. Having a name for your boat unique to you and your life.

One of the many interesting things that make up the lake culture is the fact that many people name their boats. They can range from basic to funny, but they are unique to each and every owner, and often have interesting and clever meanings behind them.

15. There's no better place you'd rather be in the summer.

Summer is your all-time favorite season, mostly because it's spent at the lake. Whether you're floating in the cool water under the sun, or taking a boat ride as the sun sets, you don't have a care in the world at that moment. The people that don't understand have probably never experienced it, but it's what keeps you coming back every year.


Cover Image Credit: Haley Harvey

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An Open Letter on Maintaining Your Peace

A letter dedicated to those who didn't set resolutions conventionally. You do it on your own terms!

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To everyone on Maintaining Your Peace,


With the start of the new year, there's so much pressure to achieve this by that date or have this halfway done before another. Then, more added pressure to formulate a goal or resolution before January ends (if you didn't have one before).

I am always cheering for goals to be made and met, however, there's one point I want to continue to emphasize: maintain your peace among it all.

Some people may associate not working on a goal or toward one as meaning your blank slate (the new year) has gone to waste. This is absolutely not the case for each individual. Some people see a breakthrough at the beginning of the year while others don't experience an open door until the very end. I have been on both ends of the spectrum.

I am not writing this as someone who is a professional, but merely a writer that hopes others don't feel stressed about creating their goals at the same time as everyone else seems to be. Sometimes, it helps to let yourself breathe and analyze. From there, you can get a clear sense of what you want out of the year. However, I will say that it is never good to sit for too long. Even if it is a small aspiration, don't let your blank slate remain as is. You never know what could happen within the year!

Maintaining your peace can be a simple walk you take every day or reading a book. It has no definitive meaning on what it takes to makes sure you're in relaxing spirits. It would also help to even get a list together on things you enjoy to help make this year as stress-free as possible. That in itself is still an aspiration.

Don't let other people make you feel bad for not having a long list of things you want to accomplish this year. Life isn't always about making resolutions at certain times. It's about, rather than timing, making them because you want to or need to.

I hope you gain perspective for yourself and on your own time.


Positively,

Jessica

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