3 Self-Care Practices That Will Cost You Literally $0

3 Self-Care Practices That Will Cost You Literally $0

Doing healthy things to improve the care and love you give yourself do not always have to cost money
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One of the biggest things that should consume our time should be the love and care we give ourselves. Unfortunately, this too can cost a lot of money. Self-care practices are known for looking like bath-bombs, manicures, pedicures, getting your hair done, buying a new outfit, and spending tons of money on things that make you happy now. What we forget are the practices that do not cost a thing:

1. Setting healthy boundaries

One of the things that we forget to do when we allow people to enter our lives is set boundaries. We wonder why our friends make comments that hurt our feelings, why our partner teases us in ways that annoy us, or why people do things that we don't like. It's because we don't set boundaries.

Healthy boundaries look a lot like deciding whether a potential relationship will be good for you instead of jumping head first and rushing into intimacy. It looks like recognizing that friends, partners, and family are not mind-readers. It's knowing what you do and do not want and not allowing people to decide that for you. It's also being your own parent and not allowing others to control you. It's saying no when you want to and telling people around you when something isn't for you. Healthy boundaries include trusting your own decisions, being sexual when you want to be, and not allowing others to take advantage of who you are romantically or in general.

When boundaries are set and are healthy those around you will not have a chance to walk all over you, like before.

2. Forgiving yourself

We are so good at forgiving others that we forget that we need to forgive ourselves as well. We need to tell ourselves that what we do is okay the same way we tell others. It's okay if we say the wrong thing at the wrong time, it's okay if we do something stupid, it's okay if we fail a test, it's okay that we ate the whole cake, and it's okay if we don't have it all together. We are all our biggest critics and we put the most pressure on ourselves, so the most that we can do is forgive ourselves after any slip-up.

When you forgive yourself you can feel the weight lift off your shoulders. When you say to yourself, "I forgive you", you can instantly feel what forgiveness feels like. It isn't keeping you up at night and it doesn't have you wondering who else you might've let down.

3. Finding something you enjoy doing alone

I'd say this would be healthy for both introverts and extroverts. Even if it means sitting in your bed for hours upon hours watching your favorite show. There's a long list of things you can enjoy doing alone. Going to the gym, reading, running or sitting outside for a few minutes doing absolutely nothing.

It's not something you have to do every day or it is something you can do every day. It's something you enjoy but you don't need to reason with why you enjoy doing it or tell anyone what you enjoy most about it. It's to bring you closer to yourself in a way that is more understanding. That is what practicing self-care is. It's doing things for you that make you enjoy life a little more. Let this "something" that you find be that for you.

Cover Image Credit: Artem Bali

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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Dear Moms, Stop Body-Shaming Your Daughters

Your voice matters the most.

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Maybe I am just really lucky. Maybe I won the jackpot of all mothers, but I didn't know it was that crazy for a mother to never make her daughter feel insecure.

It wasn't until I came to college that I realized that mothers body-shaming their daughters was even a thing. As I became closer with other young women I would often hear them saying how their moms told them what they could and couldn't wear, or they would make vicious remarks.

"You disgust me."

"That dress makes you look like a pig."

"I can't believe you would go out like that."

"Girls like you can't eat whatever they want."

"You're embarrassing the family."

No matter what I say to my friends, no matter how much I insist they are beautiful, your voice will always be in the back of their minds. Every single time they go shopping, every time they go out for dinner or post a picture on social media, they think about how you wouldn't approve.

This isn't to say that discussing a healthy lifestyle is off the table, but how you say things matters way more than you realize. Being a woman in college is hard enough. It is difficult to consistently manage all aspects of your life when you have 3 papers due by the end of the week and 2 tests on the same day. So maybe she puts on a few pounds, do you think mentioning that is going to make her less stressed?

As young women, we are constantly told that we are not good enough. We are shown what the ideal body and woman should look like. We are unbelievably aware of what our bodies look like and what is wrong with them. The last thing we need is for our role models to reinforce those unrealistic expectations.

I have heard the argument that you only "do this out of love", but love should never hurt. Is it really worth your daughter starving herself? Is it worth her throwing up after meals then binge eating? Is it really worth her starting to self-harm? Love is supporting somebody through the good and bad parts of their lives.

What you say not only impacts the way your daughter is viewing herself physically but makes her doubt other areas of her life. What you aren't seeing is that she is staying in that shitty relationship because you've made her feel like she'll never get or deserve better. She will quit studying because she thinks she will never be good enough anyway. She will let others walk all over her because that's what you've told her love is.

I am telling this because she never will- you are hurting her way more than you will ever help her.

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