I'm still a kid. That's a statement that I attempt to understand in the best way possible, yet I'm still making mistakes. I'll always make them but I am still a kid which makes it even more reasonable. There is a growth that is occurring and it's so easy to be so hard on myself yet it doesn't do anything productive for my mental health or overall state of being. In our generation, we are comparing ourselves to so many people who live differently due to default which makes it difficult to grasp our own success in how we would like to define it. We tend to forget to applaud ourselves as we reach our goals, and keep walking after we hit each milestone. It's simple to be there for others and the excitement can go on and on, yet we forget how much we've grown into our own shoes.
Life is the hardest thing that anyone has ever done which doesn't help with making sense of why. We are constantly provided with obstacles that we don't believe we can climb, yet somehow we always do. I feel pressure every day to make sense of these obstacles and to not allow them to interfere with my day to day life. Yet the obstacles are what make us grow and seeing that within my own perspective has changed just about everything for me. It's been difficult to watch things unfold in front of me without feeling as if I have control. As much as this has hurt and given me unnecessary stress and anxiety, it's helped the most in understanding what is needed in my life versus what can go.
I tend to compare myself to those around me due to the stigma that we've created from a young age of always wanting to do the best and mesh with society in order to be somewhat, "normal". I have fears of disappointing others and not relaying my personality in a positive way which could get me in trouble sometimes. What I've learned is that my fundamentals of caring is just to not care as much sometimes. It hurts more to care about every single thing at the time to just focus on one single aspect that I can talk about with another person or just figure out on my own. I have come to terms with understanding that change is around me in every aspect of my life, and I need to let it in.
At some point or another, I'm going to get knocked a down a few pegs which happens to all of us. It's accepting that which will make it a little bit easier to understand. There aren't answers for everything, but the more that we think about what we go through and internalize less and externalize more, conversations can be made about our worries to make our feelings valid. The more we validate our feelings as well as others, the better it will be in the long run. Your feelings are always valid, never feel as if they aren't because you fear what others will think. I look forward to the day that I can speak my truths without worrying about the opinions and feelings of others.