Growing up there has almost never been anyone like me on TV. And I do mean never. Now I'm sure some of you will argue that Asians are on TV, and that's true. But the Asian on TV are never tan or darker skinned like me. The Asians I see on TV are almost always eastern Asians, i.e. Japanese, Chinese, Korean, etc. And that definitely took its toll on me. It made me hate my skin color and my hair and my eyes. When I was younger, I often chose Mulan as my favorite because she was the closest I had to someone who looked like me, whose culture was similar to mine (as I am part Chinese on my father's side). I love my heritage. I wear it like a badge of honor. But I can guarantee that if I hadn't grown up in a city with so many Vietnamese people, my tune would be a lot different.
Once I started going to private school, I noticed the stark differences between me and the other girls. From my looks to the food I ate, I felt shamed for a long time. It didn't help that there was no one who looked like me on TV that other girls could see and at least try to understand why I'm not so different. But a lot of high school took its toll on me where I just didn't want to be around some people who called me their friend. Mainly because every time I was with them I was put down for being me and looking like me.
The first time I ever saw someone who looked like me in terms of heritage and skin color, was Maggie Q playing the titular role on the show "Nikita" in 2010-2011. By that point I was maybe 13 or 14. By that time, I missed my chance of growing up with role models on TV. I still remember being so excited when I heard that someone of Vietnamese descent (albeit she is only half Vietnamese through her mother's side) was on mainstream TV. I loved the show. I loved that it had a strong female Vietnamese lead. Another example is when I watched "Mean Girls" in 2012 at a school event, and noticed that two of the extras were Vietnamese and spoke Vietnamese in the movie during the large hallway fight scene. I was mind blown hearing the same language I spoke everyday on the big screen. And that's sad that it took that long for me to see any form of representation in the media.
Southeast Asian characters are hard to find. Now on current TV I can only name a few. Like the Chan family on "Crazy Ex-Girlfriend." Or I guess technically Dong Nguyen from "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt" (although the actor who plays him is of Korean descent). Even when Southeast Asian actors are on TV, they can often play East Asian characters
But if I were to ask you to just name Asian actors you could probably name a bunch (almost all of which are of Eastern Asian descent and regularly are of mixed European-Asian descent). Like Randall Park, Margaret Cho ("All American Girl"), Constance Wu ("Fresh Off the Boat"), Lucy Liu, Jamie Chung ("Once Upon A Time"), Jackie Chan, Steven Yeun ("The Walking Dead"), Arden Cho ("Teen Wolf"), Harry Shum Jr. ("Glee," "Shadowhunters"), Jenna Ushkowitz ("Glee"), Chloe Bennet ("Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D"), Ming Na Wen ("Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D"), Daniel Dae Kim ("Hawaii Five-O," "Lost"), Grace Park ("Hawaii Five-O"), Masi Oka ("Heroes"), Sandra Oh ("Grey's Anatomy"), Ken Jeong ("Community"), etc.
I never really talked about my lack of representation on TV because I was led to believe that the way it was on TV is the only way. I was led to believe that I shouldn't be picky with skin color and race, and that if I did then I would be racist. Only once I grew up and heard other activists fight for the same things I had always believed in my head, did I think to speak out.
Nowadays more and more people like me who are my age are speaking out against the lack of representation in the media. Considering the fact that some Asian-Americans have been in the U.S. since about the 1850/1860s, you would think we'd have way more representation than we currently do in the media. But no, stuff like "The Great Wall" with it's white savior complex, and casting choices like Scarlett Johansson for "Ghost in the Shell," Emma Stone for "Aloha," Tilda Swinton in "Doctor Strange," the three main leads for "The Last Airbender," etc.
Something needs to change. I'd like to say that I want to be one of those amazing people that paves the way for more Asian American representation in the media (especially in non-stereotypical roles) but I'm not. I'm not someone who is planning a future in film or TV or any kind of media. But I am someone who will support those who are. I will push for films with representation and protest ones that mock proper representation. Because I want to make sure that my kids don't grow up thinking that the color of their skin is weird. I don't want them pushing their culture and heritage away. I don't want them trying to change how they look so that they can look more like the white characters on TV instead of who they actually are. I don't want them to grow up the way I did. So, I'm going to get angry and be mad because I know the long term repercussions that lack of representation has on a person while they are developing. And I want everyone who took the time to read this to rethink what they watch and how it reflects on all of us.
