I was raised in the Methodist church. I grew up going to church on Sundays, going on mission trips, singing hymns, and bringing casseroles to potlucks. I attended vacation bible school, prayed every night, and went to youth retreats. I went to bible study once a week, listened in on my parents speaking with the preacher, and considered studying theology once I was able to attend college. Despite my run of the mill, southern church upbringing, I am now very comfortable with being an agnostic atheist. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this terminology, it simply means that I do not believe in a higher power, but I also feel that the existence of a higher power is unknowable.

My drift towards agnosticism began when I was eleven. I remember asking hard questions that the preacher could not answer for me. To his credit, he was very kind and did not attempt to make me feel comfortable with his lack of answers. However, the many contradictions that I had been mulling over in my head began to nag at me more and more. My studies of science and religion proved to be at odds with one another, and science won out. By seventeen, I had disowned religion entirely and I have been much happier since. Of course, I am here to offer my perspective, not to tell you what to believe.

Living secular in the south has proven to be, in a word, frustrating. I have found that it is true that people fear what they do not understand and that this applies heavily to atheism and agnosticism. As with any ideology that goes against the grain of the most pervasive and common worldview, there are many misconceptions about secular lifestyles. First, religion has nothing to do with morality. It may serve to reinforce certain ideal qualities, but it is not necessary in order to be a good person.

Another common misconception is that being secular means wanting to eliminate religious, specifically Christian, perspectives and practices. As an example, think of the sensationalistic yearly coverage of the “War on Christmas.” There is no war on Christmas. This sort of reporting serves only as a scare tactic, and it is unfortunately successful in creating illusions likening atheists to villains along the lines of Scrooge or the Grinch. Many Christians find it disrespectful to say “happy holidays” instead of “merry Christmas.” These individuals fail to recognize that many other equally important holidays take place at the same time. When I say “happy holidays” I am suggesting that I do not know what holiday you and yours might be celebrating, but I hope you enjoy whatever it is.

Prayer in schools is another topic of debate that seems to never die. You will find that most atheists or agnostics have no issue with you praying to whatever deities you choose. However, issues arise when religious individuals attempt to coerce everyone in a school or public setting to acknowledge their personal god. Believe whatever you want, but do not ask me to believe as you do. We are all entitled to our own values, opinions, and beliefs. We are not entitled to use our beliefs as a standard operating procedure that everyone must fall in line with. The high school I attended had an early morning devotional that students could attend if they wished. This is a compromise that I feel many atheists and agnostics, myself included, would happily accept. By all means, have a prayer circle in the morning before school. As long as students are not pressured to attend, I see no issue.

In the south, being openly secular means being open to scrutiny and ridicule. I have heard many concerns voiced for where my soul will spend eternity. Billboards on the side of the interstate berate me with messages of hell and condemnation. There is a misguided attitude among many southerners that suggests coloring outside of traditionally defined lines should invite scorn and speculation. For all of the bible studies I attended, I cannot recall Jesus ever being hateful towards his gay, atheist, or immigrant neighbor. If I put religious contradictions aside and consider what a god might be like, I cannot imagine a god who would condemn you to a fiery place of torture simply because you did not believe in his or her existence. A god would have to be evil to suggest that a lack of belief in their improvable existence alone should warrant punishment. If a secular person lives a life that is kind, just, and peaceful, should they not also be rewarded? They would have done all their good deeds expecting no reward of eternal life, but simply for the virtue of their actions and behaviors.

With all that I have said, I hope that you will digest this with an open mind. Understand that a person’s ethicality has nothing to do with their religion, but rather with their own character. A lack of a belief in a god should not invite judgment based on that fact alone. I love the south, but I do not love the misconceptions surrounding so many of the principles that I live my life by.

I will go on living as a secular outlier in the south, hoping to share the message that atheists don’t want to destroy Christmas or eliminate prayer. Who knows? Maybe I’ll change a few minds along the way.