Appreciate The Time You Get To Spend Together And 6 Other Secrets For Making Your LDR Work
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Appreciate The Time You Get To Spend Together And 6 Other Secrets For Making Your LDR Work

Spoiler Alert: It's not nearly as hard as you think.

Appreciate The Time You Get To Spend Together And 6 Other Secrets For Making Your LDR Work
Samanthah Santana

On Earth Day this year, I will have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a full 365 days. As we are both finishing up our freshman year of college, this means that we have spent a majority of our relationship over 1200 miles apart and will continue to do so for a while. Every time I tell somebody about him, I get the same responses:

"Isn't that hard?"

Of course, it's hard, but it's totally worth it.

"I could never do that."

I didn't think I could either.

'I can't believe you trust him that much."

He hasn't given me any reason not to.

"How do you make it work?"

This is probably the most common question I'm asked in regard to my relationship. I have had plenty of peers ask me for advice on how to decide whether the long distance is worth it and others who question whether the relationship is going as well as I say it is. So here I am, ready to expose my secrets to the world.

You have to love their mind.

The most important lesson I have learned throughout this process is that you have to really love talking with the person, not just being with them physically. Make sure you love them and not just the idea of them. It's one thing to enjoy somebody's company, but it's another thing to enjoy simply having conversations with them when physical presence isn't an option. If you are unable to tell the difference between the two, I promise the distance will clear that right up.

You should make each other better people.

If you and your significant other aren't encouraging each other to be the best version of yourselves that you can be, then why would you waste so much time and effort in a long distance relationship? If I didn't have my boyfriend constantly pushing me to read my Bible and keeping my attitude in check when I get overdramatic, the distance would be much harder. It's easier when you're able to think of them as your cheerleader from 1000 miles away rather than a relationship you're obligated to keep up from 1000 miles away.

You can't have any secrets.

Since we started long distance, I feel as though I have gotten closer to him than I have with any other person. I have started to tell him things that I haven't even thought to tell another human before because all we really can do is find things to talk about that we haven't yet discussed. It's also a good way to make sure you're communicating enough. I often find myself simply telling him thoughts that pop into my head just so he can feel like he's experiencing life with me and not just getting a general outline of what goes on.

That means you have to speak up when there's an issue.

The main source of any "fight" we get into is pent-up anger that we ignore until we just can't take it anymore. At that point, it's not fair to the other person to blow up on them out of nowhere. Considering the other person's feelings is way harder when there are some that you were never aware of. It's hard to remember that they aren't as involved in your life as traditional couples nor can they read minds. It's better to bring up something that bothers you as soon as you notice it. It might make the other party feel a bit irritated, but it's much better than having arguments over things that could've been discussed previously at a smaller magnitude.

You still have to make time for each other.

My favorite days are the ones where neither of us is terribly busy because that usually results in one of our "FaceTime dates" that I love so much. Just like a real date, we often set aside times during weekends that we know we aren't doing anything where we can take a few hours out of our day to spend the closest thing to quality time that we have together. Just because you don't live in the same area doesn't mean your significant other should be any less of a priority than they were before.

You should be constantly reminding them how special they are and how you wouldn't trade this for the world.

When you're so far apart, it's very easy to get lost in negative thoughts and insecurity. I have had my fair share of nights when, because I'm not constantly going on dates with him that reiterate his feelings for me, I question whether or not he likes me anymore. Of course, when I tell him that he is quick to assure me of how ridiculous I'm being. Though it requires a little bit of extra effort on your part, your partner will really appreciate constant reminders that you love them and are happy in your relationship. (And if you find that to be too much of a chore, maybe long distance isn't for you).

Appreciate the times that you do get to spend physically together.

The times in which we are both home that we get to spend with each other makes all of this worth it. I'll admit that I have moments where the months at a time that we are forced to spend apart really get to me. However, finally reaching the day that you've been counting down to is one of the happiest feelings I can think of. It's important that you don't take that time with them for granted. Rather than dwelling on the fact that you hardly see each other, be thankful for those times that you do get to spend together because there are very few joys that compare to that which comes with that reunion.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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