Dear Sophomores,

I just have to say it. The second semester of sophomore year sucks! Yep. And you know it.

We’ve made it through first semester, so congratulations. We had our fun with the fall. There were football games, tailgates, Thanksgiving break, and those random three day weekends we all appreciated. We enjoyed the warm weather, crusin’ with the windows down, and drinking on the patio.

But now we face second semester. It’s bitter cold, there’s no football to watch, no backyard parties, and life seems blue. Merely walking to campus is a completely new experience, because your fingers go numb and the four layers of coats you wore just wasn’t enough.

The campus administrators always seem to forget to place those glorious three day weekend during this semester, leaving us with only one glimpse of hope to hold on to: Spring Break. But even that seems far, far into the distance as we look over the course calendar and see the exams and papers piling on top of each other.

Life seems to be coming to an all time low for us during the second semester of sophomore year. Horror strikes during this time and we become fatally ill. A piercing ache grows inside of us every time a professors mentions the upcoming paper due. Our temperature breaks 100 as we walk into the exam room for the test we certainly did not study for.

My fellow students, we are suffering from a very serious condition. The Sophomore Slump.

The Sophomore Slump is a variation of Senioritis. It has its roots in laziness, procrastination, excessive use of Netflix and Chill, and binge drinking. Side effects of The Sophomore Slump include incomplete work in class, failing test grades, lack of hygiene, and watching a complete series on Netflix in a week.

Students that are suffering from this condition understand the hardships of college. We face a crossroads between needing to actually learn and wondering if it’s too late to enroll in sand volleyball. The number of times we consider alternative careers not requiring a college degree is unhealthy.

Unfortunately for us, there us no cure.

We must stick together. We must binge watch Netflix, forget about cleaning the house, and crack open a cold one together. United we can support each other and drag each other to 9 a.m. class, and before you know it, we will be able to shout the heavenly words — SPRING BREAK!!

Sophomores, hang in there. We are not alone in this journey. We are united. And united we will be strong.

We will make it through the embarrassing gen-eds we are still enrolled in. We will slide by with minimal effort in group projects. We will find the motivation to wear something other than sweats to class.

Ha, okay, maybe that’s a little too far-fetched.

But we will see the day that this downslide comes to an end. Spring break boozing and beaching will have come and gone. Finals stress will be nearing. And soon, to our pleasure, we will be free.

We will be free from the terrible Sophomore Slump.