If you know a college senior who is about to graduate, don't you dare say these things to them:
1. What do you want to do?
What do I want to do? Win a million dollars and not even really have to worry about having to search as hard as I am now for jobs. You probably mean what did I go to school to do...and tbh I don't even know anymore. My degree seems pretty useless at the moment.
2. Why haven't you found a job yet?
Because one hasn't fallen out of the sky into my lap, yet. Why haven't you learned some tact before now?
3. What are you going to do?
Cry, probably. Aimlessly look for jobs that don't exist or I need more experience to do.
4. Have you looked for any jobs lately?
No, I've been pretty content to grapple with being homeless, honestly. Living off the land is so in right now. YES I have, and I've applied for a few already just to be turned down.
5. The job market is very slim for what you majored in.
Tell me something I don't know, please. Like, for instance, where I might be able to find a decent job in my field.
6. What experience do you have?
Well, none, really, given that none of you super interested people will actually hire me with no experience, and in order to pay bills and such I couldn't take an unpaid internship that's like a full-time job. Huh, funny how that works, right? Essentially, I'm a baby.
7. Have you tried XYZ job boards?
Nah, I just figured I'd stand on the side of the road in this town with virtually no applicable jobs for my degree and hope for the best. Y'all, don't you think I know what I should be doing? It's just a tad difficult at the moment to do all of those things because of the job and bills and responsibilities I currently have.
8. You know what you could do? (Insert suggestion of thing that has literally nothing to do with any part of your degree)
Yes, random suggestions are exactly what I asked for, and I totally didn't know that I could do something that isn't what I want to school for. I ALREADY KNOW THIS BECAUSE RETAIL IS NOT WHAT MY DEGREE TOOK 5 YEARS TO DO.
9. I know someone who did that and they never did what they went to school for.
Yes, because that's really what I was needing to hear when I'm already freaking out internally about never getting a job that I worked on school for.
10. What is your plan for the future?
My plan is to like, not die homeless, jobless, and alone. I really have no idea what else to tell you because I'm not psychic.
11. You could always go back and get a different degree.
HAHAHA YOU SAY THIS LIKE I HAVE MONEY. If I would have wanted a different degree, I would have done it. I'm already in debt and I've used all my scholarship money, so tell me how I'm supposed to accomplish this until I get a decent job to pay for it? And when I do get the decent job, why would I want to go back to school? Unless you wanna take me on as your ward and pay for all the classes and textbooks, no can do, homeslice.
12. I know someone that does the same thing and loves it!
That's great. However, unless you want to forward my resume and all that to their boss, or someone they know that can get me a job, I'm not exactly interested in knowing that someone else was able to do what I can't even get a foot in the door for, sorry.
13. You'll get there eventually.
Thanks for the optimism, really, but I kinda need it to be now rather than eventually because I can't make a living off part-time.
14. I know someone hiring! (Proceeds to tell you about a job that you have no business doing)
You know what my degree is in, right? I'm trying to get into the field I studied for, not something I have no idea how to do just because it's open.
15. You should have majored in (insert subject you hate but would make a lot of money).
Don't they always say it's better to do something you love than to do something just to be well-off? Preferably both would work but going in, I knew I wouldn't be making millions of dollars unless I either am really far along in my career or get very lucky early on. I just need it to start somewhere is all.
Really, just think about the fact that graduation usually does not become synonymous with a new job for degrees that aren't as heavily needed like nursing or education. Please understand that we are doing the best we can and that we are trying to find the answers you seek for ourselves.