As I sit in the middle seat of row 29 in the back of a big American Airlines jet (Southwest, it means nothing. You have my heart), I write to add glue to the thoughts racing through my head while I walked through the airport. I don't often walk around in crowded places alone. I have my people. I have my escapes. But today was different.
I walked through security, had to throw away a whole tub of conditioner, and made my way to the terminal with a good chunk of time and no agenda. As soon as I sat in my seat, I looked across from me to a girl who was trading time between looking at her phone and concealing the tears pouring from her eyes. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to look, but I didn't want her to see me looking, so I did that drive-by glance that all of us are very familiar with, hoping to deduce what could be going on.
Deep within me, I felt this urge to ask what was going on. My thoughts wondered if it was a boyfriend or a family member, a missed opportunity or something else. All I wanted to do was ask if she was okay. But I just sat there, paralyzed in my seat, "Mere Christianity" resting in my hands and my eyes hovering over the words in an attempt to get my mind off of the real world around me. I made a bargain in my mind: if she sits by me in the flight, I'll ask. Now that I'm in my seat without her next to me, I'm wondering why I didn't leap when I had the chance. I don't know if that was the Holy Spirit. I don't know if that was the empathy I've been praying for. Maybe it wasn't. Maybe all of it was. And I let it pass because I didn't want to be the one to break the silence around me of all the people who want to be deeply understood yet don't want to be the one to understand someone.
I don't think there is quality or righteousness in sulking in defeat, but I am disheartened that the world won out again. As I got to my seat in 29E, I began to dialogue with the lady to my left named Stephanie. I learned about how she sews and designs for a living, traveling all over Europe, Canada and the US to display new designs and technology in the sewing industry. I learned that she has a daughter who is an Egyptologist though she has never been to Egypt. And I sit here and realize that the Lord did have something waiting for me next to my seat. After my missed opportunity. After my lack of courage. I still had another opportunity to be courageous and get to know the ones around me.
Sometimes my thoughts race about what is the primary problem with the human race and what am I doing to solve it in myself. I run my mind to exhaustion over it. Right here, I'm thinking that the place to start is to get to know your neighbor, even when it feels uncomfortable. This doesn't mean be on the lookout every moment to be sure you break the ice with everyone in the room. What it does mean is that you should turn to your left and say, "Hello, what's your name?"
