Seasonal Friendships

Seasonal Friendships

Some friendships don't last forever, and that's okay.

People come and go in our lives. There is a time and a place for everything and everyone. This is a known fact, and although this is something we are aware of, it doesn't seem to soften the blow when the timer on a friendship is finally up. As a result, I am left with a lot of questions, such as:

What did I do?

Did I not try hard enough?

Was my friendship invaluable?

Why couldn't I make you stay?

Seasonal friendships don't always end messy, but they leave on a note of uncertainty at times. Whether we are the one walking away or the one feeling abandoned, there are ways to find peace in the vagueness of these friendships.

I think it takes a lot of courage to walk away from people who don't better you, encourage you, or love you well.

I've stayed in a lot of these "seasonal friendships" out of comfortability and convenience, and sometimes I think that probably hurt me more. Now, this doesn't mean that you need to drop everybody but your deep rooted friends; however, at the end of the day, all of your friendships cannot be lukewarm. You have to have people who challenge and grow you as an individual. You have to have people that you share your heart with. When you take that extra step of vulnerability, trust people with the weight you carry, and love people when they don't love themselves, you'll find the true value of friendship. It's worth the extra step to let people in for a change. It's worth the extra step to trust people to help you carry the things that weigh you down. It's worth the extra step to love people who help you grow. Most of all, it is worth the extra step to have deep rooted friendships because those are the friendships that will continue to grow and flourish. Half-hearted friendships can't do that.

Although it takes a lot of courage to walk away from people, I think it takes the most courage to let people walk away from you.

I've wrestled with a lot of people to try and understand what I was doing wrong and why they had to leave. I've tried to mend broken bridges and love people who leave me empty, but sometimes there are broken things that stay broken. And that's okay. Sometimes, what you have to give to a person is only needed for that season of their life. And that's okay, too. Just because some things around us are broken doesn't mean that we are also broken. Just because somebody didn't need or want what you had to offer doesn't mean that we have nothing to give.

As people, we change. Our moods and feelings towards things can change in an instant. There are places, events, and people that can effect our entire day. I think some aspects of people (our fleshly desires) are incredibly fickle. Some people aren't meant to stay in our lives forever, and in seasons such as this, I am able to seek out the simple joy of how far I've come because of seasonal friendships. Just because we've run our course with some friendships doesn't mean it wasn't worth it. Although these friendships don't last, the impact still does, and that is something you can find comfort in as seasons come and go.

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven."

Ecclesiastes 3:1

Cover Image Credit: Julia Qualls

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it


Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

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How To Cope With A Best Friend Breakup

Breaking up with a boyfriend is one thing, but breaking up with your best friend is a whole new level of heartbreak.


We all know breakups can be tough, but when that breakup happens to be between you and your best friend, things reach a new level of heartbreak. I met my best friend junior year of high school after our Spanish teacher randomly assigned us to be partners; we struggled so much in that class but in the end, we truly became inseparable. When senior year rolled around we were still close as ever; people would often joke that we were sisters because we looked and acted so much alike. We would go on little dates together, go to parties together, and were always the first person we called when something "major happened."

When my best friend's boyfriend of four years cheated on her while we were spring breaking in Europe, it became my duty to make her feel better; I would randomly drop off flowers and little notes to her house, spend countless hours just listening to her cry and vent, and even stopped talking to people associated with her boyfriend so as to show my "support." All of these things were no big deal to me considering I loved this girl like a sister; whatever she needed I was there to give that to her.

Things soon took a sharp turn when we entered not only the same college but the same sorority. While I was struggling with the social aspect of FSU, my best friend soon found new best friends. When I started having major issues with my boyfriend, I would automatically text/call my best friend as she did with me, but instead of support, I got the sense that she was passive and uninterested. Our little dates and goofy inside jokes disappeared and reappeared between her and her new friends, and my comfortableness around her soon turned into insecurity.

Coming to terms with the fact that the girl I knew everything about is now basically a stranger was a hard one to overcome; I didn't want to accept the fact that my best friend decided it was time to find new ones. It's heartbreaking knowing that the special things you shared with a person are now being shared with others, and it's hard to accept the fact that you aren't wanted or needed by the one person you thought would be by your side forever.

Since school has ended I think I have accepted the fact that we're no longer what we used to be. Of course, it still stings when I see social media posts with her new, college friends, but I just have to remind myself that this is part of life and I just have to move on. I will forever cherish the memories I made with her, but it's time to acknowledge that they were made with someone in my past, not with someone in my present.

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