Season Five Of The Walking Dead Part I: Slabtown

Season Five Of The Walking Dead Part I: Slabtown

Season Five of The Walking Dead brings another to bore us to death. Like Walkers! But Beth has a good story!


I’m changing the names of the articles for Season Five Parts I and II. Rather than No Sanctuary, Part I is now Slabtown because that’s my favorite part of the season. And I forgot I decided on No Sanctuary before... And I’m changing Part II to Remember because I have a funny joke I just thought of for that half (which you can see there), so Conquer had to go. Alright, you’re all caught up, enjoy my review!


Season Four ends with everyone making their way to Terminus, only to be put into a caboose as prisoners. Rick says

“They’re screwing with the wrong people” (Gimple, Kang),

and boy were they! The premiere episode of its fifth year picks up right were the previous finale left off. Rick’s balls grew tenfold because as he is waiting to have his throat slit he says

“and a machete with a red handle. That’s what I’m gonna use to kill you” (Gimple, Kang).

Whoa… (I’m including these scenes at the bottom, but I’m including the version where Rick says “Fucking with the wrong people” on the DVD/Blu Ray versions. The show doesn’t have the gonads to say that on TV for whatever reason).

And after the tease of Glenn’s head being caved in with a bat, Carol becomes John Rambo and wreaks havoc. Our band of survivors free themselves from their restraints, raise their rings in the air and call out the elements and with their powers combined they summon Captain Planet! And they completely destroy Terminus before the episode ends. It’s a fun premier; totally different from any opener before or since. But Terminus seemed like such a threat in the last season; just like everything else, they are resolved within the first episode of the next season… The fuck’s that about!

Yes, Gareth and a few other hungry folk come back in a few episodes, but what happens? Aside from one, really awesome scene where we see the group leave the church… I forgot, after they leave Terminus they meet Gabriel, priest who brings them to his church for a safe haven. Alright, so where was I? As the group leaves, the camera hangs there looking at the distance and then slowly peers to the side to reveal those left of Terminus making their way to the church.

I love how they did that. But anyways, the Terminus folk eat Bob’s leg in place of Dale from the comics, and then when they get to the church, after that awesome “oh shit! Rick and Abraham are gonna fight and then don’t” moment, they kill the rest of the cannibals.

Then the next episode is Slabtown. Before I dive into that, the show set up Terminus as the next big enemy, but all they really were was a small dilemma to move them to the next issue. The show does this constantly. Let problems overlap, stop introducing a problem to only drag out the storyline and the resolve it with the snap of a finger and move to the next big bad.

Terminus has an appearance in the comic, but it’s not nearly as noteworthy as the show makes it. The show portrays it as “here is the new Governor character, Gareth; he’s the new enemy and we have to see this unfold.” But its storyline is a four-episode arc.

And then the Slabtown story begins, and I really love this storyline. Beth was a fan favorite, and she was one of mine. So to see her get some real development finally was enjoyable. And the supporting cast of Slabtown (including Junk from One Tree Hill) were all pretty good. I like seeing other societies and seeing how they cope and try to handle the zombie run-world. But the show introduces these other societies and then wraps them up almost as suddenly as they were introduced.

With this story, came the episodes that break up the cast. And most often than not, these episodes are boring. With exception of Beth, I didn’t give a shit about the Daryl and Carol episode, didn’t care about the Maggie, Glenn, Abraham, Rosita, Tara and Eugene episode. Having Beth’s storyline is one thing; that was happening simultaneously with everyone else. Maybe not chronologically, but her story worked separately and we see she has her own problems happening while the others do too. But breaking up the main cast caused the show’s main storyline to slow down, and that’s all this approach does.

The problem is the comics, are boom boom boom. They go from one event to the next, with no time being wasted. It works for a comic medium. And the comic is enjoyable to read. But that pattern doesn’t work for the show because they try to move from issue to issue in the same manner, while they slow down the main progress at the same time. It’s a very weird pacing where a lot of side bullshit happens, but nothing that’s really relevant ever occurs.

The show is at its strongest when they explored the Governor and his people, devoting time to see both his people and Rick’s people develop and allow the tension between both fractions to build and eventually lead to war. But by this time in the show, development is half-assed. Just as a few layers are peeled back to reveal more, the conflict is thrown aside to all of a sudden move forward. Dawn is an interesting character, but she’s killed just after four episodes (hey, that’s the same amount of time Gareth was around for. Are you noticing a pattern?).

And Beth’s storyline closes with her death. And that sucked because she had all of this time on her own to grow as a person. I’m all for killing the characters. Even the ones I like, it keeps the stakes of the show feeling present. But by devoting all of that time to Beth only to have her bite the dust, felt like it was a waste, and meant to just take up time. Sure, if that was all done to then kill her and have her death serve as a means of further developing the other characters, go for it.

Maggie breaks down and you feel bad for everyone. But then the second half of Season Five begins and Maggie just wants her hot rod Glenn and forgets she ever had a sister. The only one who seems to care Beth is gone at all is Daryl, and pretty soon he seems to forget too. As it is, her death has no impact and feels like a blip in the story that no one remembers, which is a perfect spot to close this half and encourage you to continue with my second half of this article Season Five Of The Walking Dead Part II: Remember!

Cover Image Credit: Natalia Y

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9 Eligible Princes You Need To Know About Now That Prince Harry Is Off The Market

You too could have a Meghan Markle fairytale

Prince Harry's royal wedding is officially over and there won't be another British royal wedding for quite some time now, as Prince George is way too young to start thinking about that. Fortunately, there are plenty of other countries with plenty of other princes that are still eligible bachelors at the moment. Lucky for you, I did my research and compiled a list of all the eligible princes you need to know about know that Prince Harry has tied the knot with Meghan Markle.

1. Prince Louis of Luxembourg (31)

Prince Louis is the third son of the Grand Duke Henri and Duchess Maria Theresa of Luxembourg. He has recently become a bachelor again after his separation with his wife of 10 years, Princess Tessy.

Fun Fact: He graduated from Richmond, The American International University of London with a BA in Communications. He can also speak Luxembourgish (the fact that's even a language is fun fact by itself), French, German, and English fluently.

2. Prince Sebastien of Luxembourg (26)

Prince Sebastien is the youngest child of the Grand Duke Henri and Duchess Maria Theresa of Luxembourg, so if you marry him, you'll probably never actually be queen because he's pretty far removed from the throne. However, he's relatively young and single, so best of luck.

Fun Fact: For some bizarre reason, this prince actually went to college in Ohio. He played rugby and graduated from Franciscan University of Steubenville in 2015. Now, he is back in his home country and is an officer in the Luxembourg Army.

3. Prince Phillipos of Greece and Denmark (34)

You read that correctly, Prince Phillipos is the prince of not one, but two countries. He is the youngest son of King Constantine and Queen Anne Marie of Greece and Denmark. Unfortunately, Greece abolished their monarchy, so he's a prince in name only there.

Fun Fact: Like Prince Sebastien, Prince Phillipos also went to college in the United States. He earned his B.A. in foreign relations from Georgetown University in 2008. Fortunately, for us American girls, he is actually still living in the US and he works in New York City as an analyst at Ortelius Capital.

4. Prince Albert of Thurn and Taxis (34)

Ever heard of Thurn and Taxis? No? Me neither. Anyways, Prince Albert is from the House of Thurn and Taxis, which is essentially a very old German aristocratic family. He is the son of Prince Johannes XI of Thurn and Taxis and Countess Gloria of Schonburg Glauchau. His family is well known for their breweries and castles, so unless you're gluten-free, you can't really complain.

Fun Fact: He's not just a prince. He's also a racecar driver and 10 years ago he was ranked 11th on Forbes Magazine's List of The 20 Hottest Young Royals.

5. Prince Mateen of Brunei (26)

Prince Mateen is basically like all the guys you already know, except he's royalty. He's the prince of Brunei, which is a small country on the island of Borneo, south of Vietnam. He is one of the five sons of Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah, and he also has seven sisters. Maybe that's a little different than the guys you know, but one thing he takes very seriously, just like most frat guys, is his Instagram.

Fun Fact: Mateen enjoys playing polo, flying in his private plane, cuddling cute wild animals, and keeping up his Insta game with 890k followers. You can follow him @tmski.

6. Sheikh Hamdan bin Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum of Dubai (35)

Sheikh Hamdan also has a killer Instagram with 6.3 million followers. Anyways, Sheikh Hamdan is the billionaire crown prince of Dubai and the second son of Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid Al Maktoum, who is the prime minister of the United Arab Emirates and essentially the king of Dubai (Emir). He's actually next in line for the throne because his older brother died in 2015.

Fun Fact: Hamdan's hobbies include skydiving, zip lining, and diving, just to name a few, so if you're an adrenaline junkie, Sheikh Hamdan is the prince for you.

7. Prince Hussein of Jordan (23)

Prince Hussain is the son of the extremely beautiful, Queen Rania and Abdullah II of Jordan and next in line for the Jordanian throne. At 23, he's already a second lieutenant in the Jordanian Armed Forces and he was the youngest person ever to chair a UN Security Council Meeting

Fun Fact: Like Prince Phillippos, Prince Hussain also graduated from Georgetown University in Washington D.C.. Also, like Prince Mateen and Prince Hamdan, he's Insta famous with 1.3 million followers and you can follow him @alhusseinjo.

8. Prince Constantine-Alexios of Greece and Denmark (19)

Like Prince Phillipos, Prince Constantine-Alexios also has two countries. Lucky for us though, he is also living in the US right now attending Georgetown University in Washington D.C. (like pretty much every other prince, amirite?) He is the oldest son of Crown Princess Marie-Chantal and Crown Prince Pavlos of Greece.

Fun Fact: He's Prince William's godson, so that's pretty neat. However, if that wasn't cool enough, you might like to know that this Greek/Danish prince was actually born in New York. Oh yeah, you can also follow him on Instagram @alexiosgreece where he has 88.7k followers.

9. Prince Joachim of Belgium (26)

Prince Joachim of Belgium, Archduke of Austria-Este is the third child of Lorenz, Archduke of Austria-Este and Princess Astrid of Belgium. Although he bears the title, "Prince of Belgium," he is also Archduke of Austria-Este, Prince Royal of Hungary and Bohemia, and Prince of Modena. Unfortunately, he'll probably never actually be king in any of these countries as he is ninth in line to the Belgian throne.

Fun Fact: Prince Joachim has degrees in economics, management, and finance, but he decided to join the Nautical School in Brugge after completing college and is currently an officer in the Belgian Navy.

Hope is not lost for all you girls dreaming of finding a Prince Charming that's literally a prince. After reviewing the data, my best advice is to transfer to Georgetown where princes are basically around every corner.

Cover Image Credit: @meghantheduchessofsussexstyle/Instagram

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30 Songs That Will Make Any Former Drama Kid Immediately Break Out Into Song

Not only do they sing it but they hit the notes correctly.


Everyone has that song (or a few) where when they hear it they absolutely have to scream it at the top of their lungs. Or maybe they just sing it. But drama kids take it to that next level. Not only do they sing it, but they have to sing the notes correctly and do the dance moves to the song. And they have to assign every person in the song to a different person

  1. "Cell Block Tango" from "Chicago”
  2. "You Can't Stop the Beat" from "Hairspray"
  3. "Summer Night" from "Grease"
  4. "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going" from "Dreamgirls"
  5. "We're All in This Together" from "High School Musical"
  6. "Seasons of Love" from "Rent"
  7. "Defying Gravity" from "Wicked"
  8. "I Dreamed A Dream" from "Les Miserables"
  9. "Time Warp" from "The Rocky Horror Show"
  10. "This Is Me" from "The Greatest Showman"
  11. "On The Steps Of The Palace" from "Into the Woods"
  12. "I Feel Pretty" from "West Side Story"
  13. "The Phantom of the Opera" from "The Phantom of the Opera"
  14. "Good Morning" from "Singin' In The Rain"
  15. "A Whole New World" from "Aladdin"
  16. "Do You Hear the People Sing" from "Les Miserables"
  17. "Dancing With Queen" from "Mamma Mia"
  18. "I'll Make a Man Out of You" from "Mulan"
  19. "Belle" from "Beauty and the Beast"
  20. Beauty and the Beast" from "Beauty and the Beast"
  21. "How Far I'll Go" from "Moana"
  22. "I Won't Say I'm In Love" from "Hercules"
  23. "Popular" from "Wicked"
  24. "What I Did For Love" from "A Chorus Line"
  25. "You Will Be Found" from "Dear Evan Hansen"
  26. "Do Re Mi" from "The Sound of Music"
  27. "Revenge Party" from "Mean Girls"
  28. "I'd Rather Be Me" from "Mean Girls"
  29. "Big Fun" from "Heathers"
  30. All of Hamilton
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