Season Five Of The Walking Dead Part I: Slabtown

Season Five Of The Walking Dead Part I: Slabtown

Season Five of The Walking Dead brings another to bore us to death. Like Walkers! But Beth has a good story!


I’m changing the names of the articles for Season Five Parts I and II. Rather than No Sanctuary, Part I is now Slabtown because that’s my favorite part of the season. And I forgot I decided on No Sanctuary before... And I’m changing Part II to Remember because I have a funny joke I just thought of for that half (which you can see there), so Conquer had to go. Alright, you’re all caught up, enjoy my review!


Season Four ends with everyone making their way to Terminus, only to be put into a caboose as prisoners. Rick says

“They’re screwing with the wrong people” (Gimple, Kang),

and boy were they! The premiere episode of its fifth year picks up right were the previous finale left off. Rick’s balls grew tenfold because as he is waiting to have his throat slit he says

“and a machete with a red handle. That’s what I’m gonna use to kill you” (Gimple, Kang).

Whoa… (I’m including these scenes at the bottom, but I’m including the version where Rick says “Fucking with the wrong people” on the DVD/Blu Ray versions. The show doesn’t have the gonads to say that on TV for whatever reason).

And after the tease of Glenn’s head being caved in with a bat, Carol becomes John Rambo and wreaks havoc. Our band of survivors free themselves from their restraints, raise their rings in the air and call out the elements and with their powers combined they summon Captain Planet! And they completely destroy Terminus before the episode ends. It’s a fun premier; totally different from any opener before or since. But Terminus seemed like such a threat in the last season; just like everything else, they are resolved within the first episode of the next season… The fuck’s that about!

Yes, Gareth and a few other hungry folk come back in a few episodes, but what happens? Aside from one, really awesome scene where we see the group leave the church… I forgot, after they leave Terminus they meet Gabriel, priest who brings them to his church for a safe haven. Alright, so where was I? As the group leaves, the camera hangs there looking at the distance and then slowly peers to the side to reveal those left of Terminus making their way to the church.

I love how they did that. But anyways, the Terminus folk eat Bob’s leg in place of Dale from the comics, and then when they get to the church, after that awesome “oh shit! Rick and Abraham are gonna fight and then don’t” moment, they kill the rest of the cannibals.

Then the next episode is Slabtown. Before I dive into that, the show set up Terminus as the next big enemy, but all they really were was a small dilemma to move them to the next issue. The show does this constantly. Let problems overlap, stop introducing a problem to only drag out the storyline and the resolve it with the snap of a finger and move to the next big bad.

Terminus has an appearance in the comic, but it’s not nearly as noteworthy as the show makes it. The show portrays it as “here is the new Governor character, Gareth; he’s the new enemy and we have to see this unfold.” But its storyline is a four-episode arc.

And then the Slabtown story begins, and I really love this storyline. Beth was a fan favorite, and she was one of mine. So to see her get some real development finally was enjoyable. And the supporting cast of Slabtown (including Junk from One Tree Hill) were all pretty good. I like seeing other societies and seeing how they cope and try to handle the zombie run-world. But the show introduces these other societies and then wraps them up almost as suddenly as they were introduced.

With this story, came the episodes that break up the cast. And most often than not, these episodes are boring. With exception of Beth, I didn’t give a shit about the Daryl and Carol episode, didn’t care about the Maggie, Glenn, Abraham, Rosita, Tara and Eugene episode. Having Beth’s storyline is one thing; that was happening simultaneously with everyone else. Maybe not chronologically, but her story worked separately and we see she has her own problems happening while the others do too. But breaking up the main cast caused the show’s main storyline to slow down, and that’s all this approach does.

The problem is the comics, are boom boom boom. They go from one event to the next, with no time being wasted. It works for a comic medium. And the comic is enjoyable to read. But that pattern doesn’t work for the show because they try to move from issue to issue in the same manner, while they slow down the main progress at the same time. It’s a very weird pacing where a lot of side bullshit happens, but nothing that’s really relevant ever occurs.

The show is at its strongest when they explored the Governor and his people, devoting time to see both his people and Rick’s people develop and allow the tension between both fractions to build and eventually lead to war. But by this time in the show, development is half-assed. Just as a few layers are peeled back to reveal more, the conflict is thrown aside to all of a sudden move forward. Dawn is an interesting character, but she’s killed just after four episodes (hey, that’s the same amount of time Gareth was around for. Are you noticing a pattern?).

And Beth’s storyline closes with her death. And that sucked because she had all of this time on her own to grow as a person. I’m all for killing the characters. Even the ones I like, it keeps the stakes of the show feeling present. But by devoting all of that time to Beth only to have her bite the dust, felt like it was a waste, and meant to just take up time. Sure, if that was all done to then kill her and have her death serve as a means of further developing the other characters, go for it.

Maggie breaks down and you feel bad for everyone. But then the second half of Season Five begins and Maggie just wants her hot rod Glenn and forgets she ever had a sister. The only one who seems to care Beth is gone at all is Daryl, and pretty soon he seems to forget too. As it is, her death has no impact and feels like a blip in the story that no one remembers, which is a perfect spot to close this half and encourage you to continue with my second half of this article Season Five Of The Walking Dead Part II: Remember!

Cover Image Credit: Natalia Y

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100 Of The Best Vines Of All Time

Hi, welcome to Chili's!

Not to be dramatic, but the Vine app was the best thing to ever happen to me.

The Vine app truly understood me and my extremely odd sense of humor. When it was shut down, I felt like a part of me shut down with it. Luckily, I still have the ability to reflect on the good times that I had with Vine. Although there aren't any new Vine videos keeping my spirit alive, the Vine videos from the past are enough to keep me going.

This is way overdue, but here are the 100 best Vines to ever exist (in no particular order).

1. You better stop.

2. Come get y'all juice.

3. WTF is up Kyle.

4. That is NOT correct.

5. Mr. Postman.

6. Good evening.

7. This is your space, this is your area.

8. Honestly not sure what to title this one, but it's great so.

9. Someone help Elmo.

10. Pst...what?

11. Can I get a waffle?

12. Welcome back to Jesus Christ Hotline.

13. Oooooh, my boy going to school.

14. Lebron James.

15. #1 Dad.

16. Two bros chillin' in the hot tub.

17. Iz the fourth of July.

18. You have to say that you're fine and you're not really fine.

19. Tweaka Tweaka.

20. Hi, welcome to Chili's.

21. What up, I'm Jared.

22. If you wanna be a dog, RUFF.

23. When you think you look fresh, but your fish disagrees.

24. Rat in Walmart.

25. I'm dying... without me?

26. White ppl will turn anything into a casserole.

27. So you just gonna bring me a birthday gift on my birthday to my birthday party on my birthday with a birthday gift.

28. You want a french fry? Eat a french fry.

29. ifyoulikemakingloveatmidnight.

30. Ms. Keisha.

31. Girl you're thicker than a bowl of oatmeal.

32. My cinnamon apple.

33. Two shots of vodka.

34. Whoever threw that paper.

35. Wow.

36. Do the math.

37. Rip your face off.

38. Fed up teacher.

39. You can't kill me.

40. Look at me now snake.

41. Walking a duck.

42. No matter when you pause this one, it's hilarious.

43. I don't even understand this one.

44. I dropped my hot pocket.

45. I thought you were American.

46. I can't swim.

47. I wanna be a cowboy.

48. I look like Mona Lisa.

49. Look at this graph.

50. Yungman.

51. Squidward dabbing

52. Living with Nicholas Cage.

53. If Tinder had video profiles.

54. Why you always lying.

55. Chicken wing ch-chi-chicken wing.

56. Uh my chicle.

57. Love the Nickleback version.

58. Any excuse to nae nae.

59. I want to be famous.

60. That's my opinion.

61. There she goes.

62. I have to restart my potatoes.

63. And they don't stop coming.

64. Cat horn.

65. Who is she.

66. The bob.

67. Summertime.

68. Do I look like.

69. Nice Ron.

70. Mom hearing 'Only' by Nicki Minaj for the first time.

71. Happy fourth of July.

72. I'm washing me and my clothes.

73. Nickel the creatorback.

74. Give me your money.

75. U stoopid.

76. Shrek at school.

77. Patricia honey can you be quiet.

78. No baby.

79. You've got a big storm coming.

80. Out shopping with my coven.

81. Extreme makeover home edition.

82. They were roommates.

83. White girl trying to remember the day she was born.

84. xoxo, gossip girl.

85. Big time rush.

86. Scared grandma throwing milk.

87. Suicide fairy.

88. Zoey 101 microwave.

89. When you leave your makeup on after a night out.

90. Crazy skateboarding tricks.

91. Noodle head.

92. Under all that makeup.

93. Marriage goals.

94. Boy putting on lipstick.

95. When you walk past your friend's class.

96. Clear elevator jamming.

97. #RunningManChallenge

98. T-T-T-T-Target.

99. We all have a lot of laughs.

100. High school musical.

Honestly, I still can think of 100 more of the greatest vines of all time... but I guess I should stop now.

Cover Image Credit: NY Mag

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12 Not-So-Boujee Must Haves For Your First Home/Apartment, If You Want To Actually Survive

Broom > Swiffer. Trust me.


Whether a college student or just moving into your first home or apartment, here is a list of things you probably didn't know you needed.

1. Shower Curtain Rod. 

In my furnished apartment, I was thinking the past tenant would have left this item. WRONG. Walmart is going to be your best bet for getting this, I went to at least three other stores first, and none of them had it so save yourself time and just go to Walmart.

2. Organizers. 

I was lucky enough to already have one. However, drawer organizers are so important. Not only do they save space for me in my apartment and on my desk, but it acts as my nightstand. Living on the fourth floor of my apartment, the last thing I wanted to do was haul a wooden nightstand up to my room. So get an organizer that has wheels, they usually have colored drawers so they can follow whatever color scheme you have going on.

3. Wall Decorations. 

I'm usually not one worried about decorating, but the walls will feel empty without even a cheap poster from Walmart or family photos. Something about decorating just really makes it feel more like home, than if you had just an empty room.

4. Oil Diffuser.

This was new to me. However, not only does my oil diffuser give a little extra light when it's on, but my room always smells amazing now, even if the rest of the house smells like food. Scentsy pots work too, but with the oil diffusers there's less mess and you can use oils similar to DoTerra for health and mood benefits.

5. Tinfoil. 

We all eat food. And let's be honest, college students are lazy and life is so much easier when you can just throw tinfoil on top of your dish and toss it in the fridge. Especially when you're in a hurry. Yes, that's also what Tupperware is for but you also can use it for cooking in the oven.

6. Rugs. 

Most kitchens are hardwood or tile of some sort, having a rug in front of the entrance and in front of the sink are essential to creating less mess to clean. We have a lot of guests in our apartment and since we don't have carpet anywhere but our rooms, it is tough to ask for shoes off so having a rug at the front door can cut down the amount of dirt tracked in.

7. Lamps. 

Lighting can be limited in rooms so it's nice to bring some sort of extra lighting. Either a stand up lamp or just a desk lamp can make a huge difference in the lighting of your room.

8. Dry Shampoo. 

This is less of a need for your home and more of a need for you. I have recently jumped on the dry shampoo trend and it's a life-saver. If you have a long night of studying or wake up late and don't have time to wash your hair, it's a great fix and easy way to keep from looking like you are losing your mind.

9. Extension Cords. 

If you didn't figure this out in a dorm, you are now. Outlets can be in inconvenient places, and as a college student, you have to have space to plug in a laptop, printer, phone, lamps, and anything else that you need to plug in. Extension cords and power strips will solve that problem.

10. Broom. 

Yes, a broom. Not a swiffer. Sadly, if you have more dirt than dust, a swiffer will do you no good. You can get a cheap broom at just about any store that carries any cleaning supplies.

11. Paper Towel Holder. 

I mean you could go without but it does make things more convenient. Also looks nicer than just having a roll of paper towels sitting on the counter.

12. Cooking Oil. 

Super easy to forget, but used more often than you think. Cooking oil is used for so many things, and if you have a kitchen, make sure you have it. Nothing is worse than having a meal planned and finding out you don't have cooking oil.

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