I spent most of my childhood sitting in the corner, a book in my hands. I read any book I could get my hands on, and by the time I was in the third grade, my reading level exceeded a twelfth-grade reading level. My mom would make me stop reading so I could go to school.
The point is, my childhood was spent reading everything. Then came the time when school began to make you read in an analytical way, rather than for enjoyment.
It always starts with the book reports. Schools make you read books that you most likely don't find very interesting and analyze the meaning of them and why it is written the way it is. It changed the way I viewed reading entirely. Instead of reading to get lost in the story and adventure, I had to read with the story sitting in the back of my mind instead of thinking of word choices or grammar or proper uses of metaphors. And to take the time to read these books so slowly and analytically, I found myself losing time to read for myself. And when I did have time, I was tired from analyzing the other reading I was doing.
It was a cycle of book reports, while the stack of books I wanted to read for myself continued to pile up.
Book reports turned into studies of grammar and sentence structure. Books started to be reviewed for themes and be told by teachers that the books are good or bad. I was told how to feel about the book and to read "actively" by making notes on aspects of the book that I never had to think of to read a book before. I found myself having to write papers several pages long simply analyzing these books.
While I found many books interesting and books I would have read on my own, having to look at them so scientifically and not be able to let the story move me made me feel disconnected from them.
It changed reading from a hobby to a chore, just another thing I had to get done.
As years passed, my passion for reading never left, but the act of reading suddenly seemed tedious and tiresome. I always found myself buying more and more books, but never really read them. I have to relearn my old mind frame of reading and escaping into the story, rather than think of reading as a tiresome task that is done just to be done.
I have finally been able to read books that I choose, as well as been able to read them for pleasure and without worry of what the word choices were and how important they were. I've slowly begun to work my way through the giant pile of books I have come to accumulate throughout the years. Books were my escape into an exciting life as a child, and now that I am able to read for myself again, I will once again have a place to escape to.
