If It's Not a Hell Yes, It's a No

For as long as I can remember my parents and older siblings have encouraged me to listen to podcasts. They all emphasized how it's an easy way to learn new things about life and the world you might not otherwise think much about. However, I don't think they meant become an avid listener to something like Schnitt Talk, a popular Barstool Sports podcast hosted by Ellie Schnitt and her producer, Alanna Vizzoni, yet here we are. The podcast mostly revolves around dating, going out, and other popular college topics. Even though it might not be the educational content my family was probably hoping I'd listen to, Schnitt Talk has been the perfect stepping stone into the world of podcasts for me and it's actually given me a lot to think about.

In an episode I listened to recently, Ellie teaches her audience a rule she uses when going into a new relationship. The rule is fairly simple: if someone isn't a hell yes in your mind, they should be a no. I found this particularly interesting because so often I've noticed in college people seem to date because they're bored, scared to be alone, or my personal favorite, using someone to get over an ex. I'd be lying if I said I've never done one or two or all three of these. However, do yourself a favor and don't date out of convenience, don't date because they would look good on your Instagram, and don't date because you kind of maybe like them. Date when they're a HELL yes in your book or don't date them at all. Although cliché, it's so much better in the long run to not be in a relationship than to be in a relationship you're only luke warm over. A common trend I've noticed in my three years of college is that people refuse to let go of someone even when they're not right for them solely because they're afraid of being lonely. This needs to be changed.

A friend recently asked me over coffee how I never seem lonely which I initially found odd. I realized upon later contemplation that while of course there are days I feel lonely, I am human after all, for the most part, he was right. Loneliness isn't a common feeling for me, even during the days, weeks, or months I might not be in a relationship. I attribute a lot of this to the awesome people I fill my life with such as friends from home, college, roommates, and family. Due to this, no matter whether or not I have a boyfriend, my heart still feels full. Obviously, anyone who's ever been in love knows that there's a different kind of fulfillment brought from a significant other and I'm not trying to downgrade that feeling. However, I am saying it's important to fill your life with people that inspire, love, and appreciate you enough that you're okay with waiting for a relationship with someone you're completely and utterly hell yes over without that empty feeling that is so common during dry spells between relationships.

I think this rule could easily be used in everyday life as well. Don't pick a major you're not 100% interested in and if you find yourself drawn to something else, change it! Don't hang out with friends who don't make you feel great about yourself and don't go out if you don't want to. You don't have to do something just because everyone else is. At the end of the day, it's your life you're living and if you're not 100% hell yes over all of it, do what you can to change the things preventing that feeling. I know it sounds basic, but life is too short to waste time being anything less than 100% into something. You only get one life, live it the way you want as long as your mindset is HELL yes.

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