I don't know how many times I've mentioned my social anxiety, but here it is again. My social anxiety, as I'm sure many of you can relate to, is an extreme inconvenience in my life. It makes it harder to speak to people, harder to be assertive, and a mess to handle when having to speak in front of groups, crowds, and the like. So one could understand my reluctance when adding Effective Speaking to my summer classes.

I'm currently enrolled in Summer B and C classes. I finished my first Summer session with no issues, but then came the new classes. Effective Speaking and Introduction to Gender. I'm excited about my Intro to Gender class because it's virtual. Only typing and taking quizzes, no face-to-face interaction necessary. However, my first day of Effective Speaking, I had to get in front of 25 students and speak.

As I walked to the podium-less front of the room, I remember thinking, "I understand it's a required course, but do I have to be forced to speak?" Turns out, I did okay. I was shaking, my voice was quiet and trembling, but I did it. Granted, I did it without looking at anyone in the eyes.

My professor taught about anxieties and stage fright during the first couple days of class. This didn't help my anxiety, but it made me understand that the feeling I get in the pit of my stomach when I walk to the front of the room is completely normal. I knew that it was common to have stage fright, but sometimes you faint in front of a dozen people, or you start stumbling over your words, or you start sweating profusely. Whatever the case, it seems that it's easy to psych yourself out.

I know it's still early on in the semester, but I'm hoping this class will help me build the courage to talk to people, in small and/or big crowds. I don't hate this class, I'm still just a little scared of it.