A word that should be in my vocabulary, but I don’t use often is ‘no’.

I find myself saying yes to things even though I shouldn’t. I take on too much and often regret it later. Now, I’ve gotten better since I was in high school. I’ve learned that saying no is not a bad thing. It’s something we all need to do from time to time. I am busy enough as it is, I don’t have time to take on new things.

And yet, I still find myself saying yes.

What I’m learning is I don’t have to feel bad about saying no. My life is absolutely insane; I don’t need more things adding craziness to my life. I already have so much going on and don’t need to add anything else. But occasionally, I still find myself saying yes to things I really shouldn’t.

Maybe it’s that I can’t say no. Maybe it’s because I like helping people and keeping busy. Maybe it’s because I know I can handle a lot of things at once. Maybe it’s because I can juggle a lot of things at once and still keep everything intact (mostly).

But none of these reasons is something I remember when I’m up until all hours of the night and nearly in tears because it’s all too much. I haven’t hit this point yet this semester, but I’ve come close a few times. I’ve said yes to too many things and am finding myself trying to juggle everything. I have very little time for much of anything except class, work, homework, and music. My nights are filled of catching up on homework I always seem to be behind on and keeping up with my schedule. My weekends are filled with band and also catching up on homework I never seem to be on top of no matter what I do.

I know I will survive and come out the other side, but until then, it won’t be fun. I will make it through all of this craziness and insanity, but it will be tough. From this point on, I have to remind myself that I can say no. I can refuse to add something else to my plate when it’s already overflowing. It’s perfectly alright to say no and pass on something that will make my life crazier than it already is.

This is a lesson I haven’t fully learned yet.

It’s a lesson I don’t know if I will ever fully learn.

But that’s okay.

It’s okay to say no and it’s perfectly all right to pass on something I know will only make me crazier.

Who knows if I will ever learn the word “no”, but until then, I’ll have to proceed with caution and try my hardest to say no.