Often times, talking about decency and respect feels like I'm preaching to the choir among the people I surround myself with. People around here, no matter what their backgrounds or political views, believe in treating people fairly and with respect. I would like to think that all people feel that way, around the world. I would like to think all human beings want to be kind to each other and leave a positive impact on all the lives they come into contact with. But then videos, like this one below, become viral and hit my News Feed on Facebook. It reminds me how much of an idealist I am, how I give people too much credit, and how the world is full of people that hurt each other.
There's a lot of things going on in this video that makes my skin crawl. It's not clear whether the video is fake or not, but it showcases a conflict on respect and gender discrimination. So let's break down the basic truths and say them a little louder for the people in the back.
1. Stop Slut-Shaming women.
What a girl wears says nothing about her sexuality; a girl's number is none of your business, nor does it say anything about her as a person. Slut-shaming is gender discrimination perpetuated by a patriarchal social construct. In other words, the word, "slut" is thrown around by anyone looking to control the behavior of another. And no one has a right to do that.
2. Rape is NEVER the victim's fault.
Rape is not about sex, it's about violence and control. A woman could be walking around the streets naked, but she's not responsible for another's man act of aggression. Confusing aggression and consensual sex is a problem around the world and education about the difference could be the difference in saving someone's life and/or mental health and self image.
3. Inciting and offensive language is not free speech.
There's a difference between Free Speech and Verbal Harassment. If the way someone dresses makes you uncomfortable, fine. If you want to say so, ok. But making another person feel unsafe with your language is never acceptable. That's not you exercising a right as a citizen, it's you attacking another human being.
4. Everyone deserves respect, but you are not entitled to it once you agitate someone.
It's not fair to say, "I deserve respect" once you just insulted and disrespected someone else. Yes, you deserve respect, as a human being, but authoritative respect is earned, it is not automatically given to you as a man or a woman.
5. Violence is not the answer.
We all cheered when that woman knocked the guy to the ground, but was it really justified? Did it do anything? I find it hard to believe that the man in the video will stop being an offensive jackass no matter how many times he gets beat up or yelled at. His internal beliefs will not change. Ignorance is the sign of education and refinement needed elsewhere.
There's a world full of violence, slander, abuse, and harassment. I keep wondering why, and I'm still figuring it out, but I believe part of it is there are a lot of people out there uneducated about consensual sex, rape culture, what respect really is, and how to treat others properly. So if you believe in mutual respect and equality, keep talking about it.
Better yet, say it louder, for the people in the back.
