We meet new walks of life everyday. We decipher personalities and assess the endless possibilities of new friendships. Some people are full of life but others, not so much. The latter is cookie cutter: not interesting, not fun, not anything, really. There is no depth nor character in the latter.
Over the course of 19 years, I've become a 'saltine cracker' hater. The term 'Saltine Cracker' normally yields prejudice against white people and hurting white feelings, but I'm not discussing that definition here. What I'm exploring is 'Saltine Cracker' as a personality trait.
The 'Saltine Cracker' is most basic at core, and everyone has the displeasure of knowing one.... or more. If you've ever been in a situation in which you contemplated using the excuse of "I think I'm getting diarrhea, it's time for me to leave now," then chances are, you were fully submerged in a conversation riptide with a 'Saltine Cracker' and could not escape. Conversations with the 'Saltine Cracker' are more awkward than your middle school selfies at the Apple Store. The 'Saltine Cracker' responds with one word answers and doesn't bother to ask you questions. The 'Saltine Cracker' is aloof. That's it. No happiness, no anger, no sadness-- just aloof and detached. It's one thing to be shy, but at least shy people tend to be friendly, engaged in interactions when provoked, and evolve once the relationship grows. In contrast, 'The Saltine Cracker' is dreadfully boring and never deviates in attitude or disposition. Worst of all, the 'Saltine Cracker' is indifferent and while you may have questioned the sanity of some eclectic people, just remember that a person who seems a bit wild and has a peculiar range of interests, is more intriguing than one who is not. Think about it.
I know we've all been indoctrinated with lessons on kindness, but it's time to stop forcing and continuing communication with the 'Saltine Cracker' for the sake of being nice. It's not beneficial nor wanted by both parties. The 'Saltine Cracker' strips your zest and taints it will dullness. I, for one, am over this nonsense.
Start hanging out with people who aren't so cookie cutter and as bland as grocery store tilapia. The people who are different may surprise you by bringing great happiness. They enjoy unique varieties of music, dabble in obscure hobbies, and are downright fascinating. They're eager to delve into serious and light discussions. Their emotions are splattered on the surface, along with their values, interests, and personality through fashion and action. They dare to stand out.
I'm not saying to ditch your current conformist or timid friends. There's a reason why you love them so much-- it could be their sense of sarcastic, silly, or even sardonic humor. It could be their undying loyalty, or ability to make you smile during the most drastic of circumstances. On the contrary, I'm advising you to recognize the 'Saltine Crackers' who bring nothing into the relationship, and avoid them like the Olive Garden.
If you've realized that you're in fact a 'Saltine Cracker,' it's not too late to change. Transform into a new brand of cracker, like the Ritz. Ritz crackers are diverse, fun, and bring a lot of pizzazz to the table. Everyone loves em'.
