I'm not quite sure when or where the daddy thing started trending, but everyone my age seems to be into it, at least little. It slid over my head for a long time, I never thought about the concept very hard until recently. Having "daddy issues" more or less means a person (usually a girl) has some sort of issue with their father. Either he just wasn't a part of your life, left your family, had an affair, was there physically but not emotionally, maybe he's passed away, etc. There are so many different stories people have when it comes to their dads. Basically he's f**ked up in some way, or something awful has happened which then effected you (negatively usually) in some way. Stereo-typically for girls, having daddy issues means you are also very sexually promiscuous, find comfort in or pick older men to be with, or have trust issues with men all together. I feel like a lot of people can identify with having issues with their dads, even if they have a great relationship with their father now. 

Personally, I have a great relationship with my dad. He's the bomb. He made me cry two days ago because he told me how proud he is of me. But, what a lot of people don't know is that my dad adopted me when I was 7. He married my mom a year before, when I was 6, and I've known him since I was 4. Pretty much, he's been my dad my entire life. And I am SO lucky and proud to have him as my dad.  

"Ok Sophie, we get it, Kurt is cool. What about your actual dad???" 

Well, he's out of the picture. And y'all are nosey. He's been gone since he signed the papers to give up his parental rights to me when I was a baby. He's also legitimately psychotic. Alcoholic, drug addict, repeating rapist, has fathered more kids than I know of (I think I have at least 5/6 half siblings), I was told that he also ran over two kids once---- bottom line is, he's gone and I'm much better off (obviously). But still, I think about him a lot. I definitely look more like him than I do my mom (despite the fact that everyone says my mom and I look alike). I have his eyes, his height, hair, his awful skin (a big F**K YOU for that), and I hate having to look in the mirror and see him in me. Sometimes I think about dying my hair red to resemble Kurt more (even though I definitely act just like him). From all of this, I don't really think I have daddy issues, but it still screws with my head enough to make me think about it. It's weird having friends who I'm really close to not know about my past with my biological father. It's not a secret, but how do you just casually tell someone "Oh yeah, my sperm donor of a dad is psycho and gave up his rights to me as a kid because he's SO PSYCHO." It's awkward, weird, and more often than not just not needed to be brought up. So I don't.

I know plenty of girls who have issues with their dads, but I also know A LOT of guys who have problems with their fathers. And truthfully, I think boys have more issues later in life with their daddy issues than girls do. (But that's just my opinion) I have seen plenty of boys be so lost in life due to the fact that they have no male guidance in their lives. I mean I get it completely; I don't know how I would live without my mom or some sort of female figure in my own life. 

I've been wanting to bring up this topic but didn't really have a solid direction for it until I talked to my dad the other day (yes, the convo where he made me cry). He gave me one of the best pieces of guidance I have heard to date that went something along the lines of:

"Don't let those other things get to you. You got to where you are because of what YOU'VE done and because of the amazing person YOU ARE. Not because of what anyone else has done to you, or for you. Be proud of that, I know I'm so proud of you. Just keep being yourself. You are an awesome young adult, and we know you are trying and doing your best. That's all we can ask for. Just keep being YOU. I love you." 

I know it's not anything particularly inspiring or whatever, but it really resonated with me. And it's true. I say this allllllll the time to my girlfriends: It's YOUR life. You can literally do whatever you want with it. Talk to that boy, or don't. Change majors as a junior, or don't. If you really want to make something happen in your life, you can do it. Just take the right steps to get there. You have to want to make changes and actually do it in order for it to become your reality.

So, if you're a little lost with whatever situation your in, and have daddy issues like me from that past that seem to be tearing up your future, take my dad's words as a pep talk for yourself. Take whatever you want out of this post, that's what it's here for. Know that, even if you have issues, you're not crazy. You are loved. And you will survive. And if you need it and ask Kurt really nicely, I'm sure he will give you one of his super-awesome dad hugs. 

(I love you dad, P.P.)