So recently I went out for recruitment. I was always thinking about it and not because I was expected to join a black sorority and they don't have that at FDU. So I finally did it not really caring until I did.

The girls were nice and I enjoyed their choices in philanthropies. I was getting excited at the idea of joining and be part of a great group of sisters. They asked me some basic questions about myself and I them about the sorority. I felt confident because they were welcoming and they told me they didn't have anyone in their sorority with my major.

Friday comes and in the morning I get the call that I did not get a bid. It was depressing for a while, but everyone I told said the sororities were missing out without me. I loved the encouragement but in the back of my mind I think about: what was I missing as a person that they didn't choose me? I'm smart, outgoing, and excited to try new things. What was I missing? It can't be because I'm black, while they don't have many in the sororities there are some black girls in them. While going out for a sorority can be fun, it can also be depressing and attack your self esteem because when you are not picked it makes you question everything about yourself even though you know it's not yourself, but that feeling of self doubt is still in the back of your head.

While I can go back and do recruitment next semester- I'd rather not because there is a chance they can reject me again and I'd rather not go through again.