Last week was Rush, and even though it's my Junmore (Junior+Sophmore) year, I decided it was finally time. I dedicated portions of my summer to researching the important conduct, spent hours obsessing over what to wear, paced back and forth in my dorm wearing high heels practicing answering and asking questions. I memorized rules I had read online, avoiding the the 5 Bs (Boys, Booze, Bids, Bible, and Ballot), be yourself, don't be afraid to ask questions, and follow your heart.

"Hi blah blah blah I'm Anna. Pleasure to meet you." "OH I'm from the Cayman Islands! Where? South of Cuba." "What type of community service activities are the sisters of ____ participating with?" "Oh, yeah. I'm a big fan of education."

I think you get the gist. On the day before Pref Night I'm doing laundry and getting a shower in before getting ready when I get a message from my Rho Gamma. This wonderful woman is asking me to meet her at the meeting spot for our group. I ran downstairs and am told I wasn't asked back by anyone. My heart sunk. A feeling a disappointment. However, I tried to approach it with the spirit of a true adult. I asked why, she said she didn't know. I nodded my head and thanked her, told her I was glad to have had the experience, and congratulated her on her new sisters.

I knew I was going into Rush with some battle wounds. My first semester wasn't my strongest, and thus it caused my GPA to fall. Before I went through Rush however I asked the leaders of each sorority about their requirements, and they all said they sometimes accept girls under special exception. I blamed my denial on that, but at the same time spent hours wondering what it was that I did wrong that weekend. Each and every one of my flaws showed up before me, and I drowned myself in self hate like the little girl who is drowned in the Sylvia Plath poem The Mirror.

No matter what I'm glad that I went through the process. As a few days passed I accepted the matter, and feel like there were many things I learnt from doing recruitment. I've certainly found myself involved more in my school community when it comes to meeting other students (particularly perfect because of the fact I've been living in Hazelrigg). As a person with some level of social anxiety and communication issues being literally yanked into the arms of these sorority sisters made me learn more about socialization. There were so many people that even on a small campus I had no idea existed. People I was previously scared of for some arbitrary reason I felt completely comfortable being around.

In the end I accepted the idea that Greek life wasn't for me, and enjoyed the cultural experience I had gone through. Nothing was wrong with me, and my friend group of independents are the best people I've ever met. Heartbreak happens, it's okay to be upset, but things for a reason. Take everything as a learning experience and grow as an adult from what you've learnt. Take a moment to think of just flexibility, love and trust. Be thankful and remember, no matter what, Greek letters or not, you do belong in your society.