Running out of medicine during a pandemic — what do you do? What if the medicine that you need helps you be a functioning citizen in society? What if it is for mental health, something still very taboo to talk about?

This is my reality. I ran out of the medicine that prevents me from losing important documents, turn in assignments on time, and speak to my boyfriend in a friendly, kind, and patient matter. All of this is a very nerve-wracking situation.

In a time of global crisis such as this, I feel selfish. There are people out in the world dying right now because of this pandemic, and I am over here without my mental health medication. That is not a terrible situation to be in, right?

Let me lay it out for you. Because I have a chemical imbalance in my brain, my illness is invisible. When I take my medicine, that imbalance becomes balanced. After years of therapy, I have found a way to be proactive with my illness, making it easier to slow down before the heavy spiral begins.

I am caught between a rock and a hard place. Society is telling me to just stay at home and keep doing what I am supposed to be doing. Without a solid schedule, like I had while taking in-person classes, I have started to go back to the old Skylar. The Skylar I went to therapy because of.

And I know I am not alone.

For the people out there with invisible illnesses, I see you. I feel you. I understand. We have worked so hard our entire lives to convince the people around us of our daily struggles. Now, our rug has come up right under us. There is a new, unstable routine.

From the wise words of Julia Michaels and Selena Gomez:

"Feel like I'm always apologizing for feeling-

like I'm out of my mind when I'm doing just fine..."

Just one foot in front of the other right?