I Will Not Watch The Roseanne Reboot, Even If It Means I Have To Get A Marky Mark And The Funky Bunch Tattoo

I Will Not Watch The Roseanne Reboot, Even If It Means I Have To Get A Marky Mark And The Funky Bunch Tattoo

The Conner family should've just stayed in the nineties.
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Over the past year or so, the concept of rebooting “Roseanne” has gained an intense amount of attention, ultimately leading to the season premiere of the continued show last week. “Roseanne” was definitely a part of my childhood- my grandmother owns all of the DVDs and I always watched the reruns of Halloween episodes during October.

However, the idea of bringing Roseanne Barr back to the forefront of television- a woman who voted for Trump just to “shake up the status quo,” frightened me to say the least. Once a ball-busting feminist that never took shit from her many male coworkers that tried to bring her and her show down, Barr has changed for the worse as years went by.

Countless times, Roseanne has received backlash from her many bigoted Tweets- ranging from comparing Islam to Nazism, accusing the Parkland survivors of being crisis actors, and throwing out transphobic comments left and right.

Given Barr’s racist past, it confused me as to why the “Roseanne” reboot would have a black child as D.J.’s daughter and a cross-dressing boy as Darlene’s son. I can’t imagine breaks between filming are happy-filled rays of sunshine, when those children are probably aware that Barr strongly dislikes them.

Along with that, I also find a problem with how the reboot has characters interact with each other. I understand that the Conner family is a powerful symbol for many other blue-collar families living across America, however their accepting attitudes toward each other just aren’t realistic.

The same blue-collar families that enjoyed the show in the past are not going to share the same sentiments that Roseanne and Dan about their grandchildren. If they had a little boy in their family who wanted to dress like a girl, they wouldn’t just hug the child and let them be so free-spirited.

While it is true that many American families are experiencing the same political divide as the Conners, it is not true that all of their problems are going to be solved when two sisters embrace (while a cheesy laugh track plays), one wearing a pussy hat and one lamenting about a “liar in a pantsuit.”

And it’s not just the show itself that frustrates me. Once the reboot aired, multiple reviews lauded the show as some new form of “social commentary” that the television world has never seen before. Now that, I have a problem with.

There are a handful of shows- even on ABC- that provide much more entertaining social commentary than the fake acceptance that the Conner family exhibits. “Black-ish” is one show that comes to mind- that’s been pushing the boundary on social/cultural/political issues since the day it aired, or “Modern Family,” a show that actually portrays a multiracial family in a respectful and realistic way.

At the end of the day, I realize that the “Roseanne” reboot is not meant for me. It’s for those Midwest families in Wisconsin and Illinois, who I surround myself with everyday, who see no problem with placing the spotlight on a woman who’s as equally conservative as Trump, in an effort to normalize the President’s erratic and immoral behavior.

Although I shouldn’t base an entire show on one episode I’ve seen, I will not be watching the “Roseanne” reboot anytime soon. I just don’t feel comfortable supporting someone who can so easily embrace the alt-right, spew whatever nonsense they want to, and still get their new/old show picked up by a major network. This is not progress or “making America great again,” it’s moving us backward.

Cover Image Credit: YouTube

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11 Things Psychology Majors Hear That Drive Them Crazy

No pun intended.
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We've all been there. You're talking to a new acquaintance, or a friend of your parents, or whoever. And then, you get the dreaded question.

"So what are you studying in school?"

Cue the instant regret of picking Psychology as your major, solely for the fact that you are 99.9% likely to receive one of the slightly comical, slightly cliche, slightly annoying phrases listed below. Don't worry though, I've included some responses for you to use next time this comes up in conversation. Because it will.

Quick side note, these are all real-life remarks that I've gotten when I told people I was a psych major.

Here we go.

1. So are you, like, analyzing me right now?


Well, I wasn't. But yeah. Now I am.

2. Ugh so jealous! You picked the easy major.


"Lol" is all I have to say to this one. I'm gonna go write my 15-page paper on cognitive impairment. You have fun with your five college algebra problems, though!

3. So can you tell me what you think is wrong with me? *Shares entire life story*


Don't get me wrong; I love listening and helping people get through hard times. But we can save the story about how one time that one friend said that one slightly rude comment to you for later.

4. Well, s**t, I have to be careful what I say around you.


Relax, pal. I couldn't diagnose and/or institutionalize you even if I wanted to.

5. OMG! I have the perfect first client for you! *Proceeds to vent about ex-boyfriend or girlfriend*


Possible good response: simply nod your head the entire time, while actually secretly thinking about the Ben and Jerry's carton you're going to go home and demolish after this conversation ends.

6. So you must kind of be like, secretly insane or something to be into Psychology.


Option one: try and hide that you're offended. Option two: just go with it, throw a full-blown tantrum, and scare off this individual, thereby ending this painful conversation.

7. Oh. So you want to be a shrink?


First off, please. Stop. Calling. Therapists. Shrinks. Second, that's not a psych major's one and only job option.

8. You know you have to go to grad school if you ever want a job in Psychology.


Not completely true, for the record. But I am fully aware that I may have to spend up to seven more years of my life in school. Thanks for the friendly reminder.

9. So you... want to work with like... psychopaths?


Let's get serious and completely not-sarcastic for a second. First off, I take personal offense to this one. Having a mental illness does not classify you as a psycho, or not normal, or not deserving of being treated just like anyone else on the planet. Please stop using a handful of umbrella terms to label millions of wonderful individuals. It's not cool and not appreciated.

10. So can you, like, read my mind?


It actually might be fun to say yes to this one. Try it out and see what happens. Get back to me.

11. You must be a really emotional person to want to work in Psychology.


Psychology is more than about feeling happy, or sad, or angry. Psychology is about understanding the most complex thing to ever happen to us: our brain. How it works the way it does, why it works the way it does, and how we can better understand and communicate with this incredibly mysterious, incredibly vast organ in our tiny little skull. That's what psychology is.

So keep your head up, psychology majors, and don't let anyone discourage you about choosing, what is in my opinion, the coolest career field out there. The world needs more people like us.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Short Stories On Odyssey: Roses

What's worth more than red roses?

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Five years old and a bouquet of roses rested in her hands. The audience-- clapped away her performance, giving her a standing ovation. She's smiling then because everything made sense, her happiness as bright as the roses she held in her hands.

Fifteen now, and a pile of papers rested on her desk. The teachers all smiled when she walked down the aisle and gave them her presentation. She was content then but oh so stressed, but her parents happy she had an A as a grade, not red on her chest.

Eighteen now and a trail of tears followed her to the door. Partying, and doing some wild things, she just didn't know who she was. She's crying now, doesn't know anymore, slamming her fists into walls, pricking her fingers on roses' thorns.

Twenty-one and a bundle of bills were grasped in her hands. All the men-- clapped and roared as she sold her soul, to the pole, for a dance. She's frowning now because everything went wrong, but she has to stay strong, for rich green money, is worth more than red roses.

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