The other day, I was having an emotional breakdown and went to my dad for guidance. He said that I needed to stop taking what other people think and say so personally, and that I have more control over my emotions than I think. He told me, “You need to learn how to be more of a Popsicle in a freezer than in the burning sun.”
His analogy almost completely snapped me out of it. I was giving so much of my thought, energy, and emotional capacity to something that I really had no control over, yet I was only hurting myself. When he said I was basically a figurative melting Popsicle, it put me into another mindset. I didn’t want to be a puddled Pop, but an intact, chilled one.
He went onto explain that if I wanted more of a peace of mind, I need to rid myself of expectations towards anyone. This was a little harder for me to swallow, because I felt that expectation was a basis of any relationship. But then I asked myself, what has expectation done for me? It’s disappointed me more than anything else. And it’s only because of me.
When we usually do things for other people, we expect things in return, which is kind of foolish. Not one person is the same. We need to learn how to happily do things for others without always expecting something in return; it’s called being selfless. We don’t need a reward for doing the right or nice thing, because what’s most important is that we’re spreading unconditional love and acceptance.
It takes so much out of us to always keep a tab of what people do for us, or what they don’t do for us. What kind of a way of living is that, to penalize someone for not having your train of thought? If you’re associating with people who can do nothing for you, then you should make your mark in their lives and move on. If they're not concerned about you, why should you be concerned about them?
I’m not saying to keep giving, giving, giving until there’s nothing left. No, that’s getting taken advantage of. I’m saying choose wisely in who you give parts of yourself to, and if you find that they’re not appreciative of you, they’re not bad people, just different. If you can’t handle the pain in differentiation, associate with people who you know will be mutual and have your back.
At the end of the day, the only person you can truly rely on is you. No matter how close you are with that friend, or boyfriend, they have their own lives to worry about, and you have yours. If we stop expecting so much, we make room for being truly grateful in what we receive. It isn’t fair to you or anyone to be penalized for being different, and having a life of their own. Our happiness will never be found without, but within ourselves.
