Romano's Review: Captain America Civil War

Romano's Review: Captain America Civil War

Everything Wrong with the Marvel Universe
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The 2015 movie season is the most highly anticipated movie season since, and Captain America: Civil War may be the most highly anticipated movie of the summer. Both dedicated Marvel fans and casual movie goers are flocking to the cinema to see the critically appraised super power slug fest. Some have even scene it twice already (*cough cough*) totally not me. The movie is a critical success, and comic book expert, Kevin Smith, has gone so far as to call it the greatest comic book movie of all time, comparing it to the Dark Knight. The movie was definitely good, but to compare it to the Dark Knight is like comparing delicious chocolate chip cookies to a fiber one bar, its an okay snack but we all know which one is better. Therefore, I now present to you my review of Captain America: Civil War. There will be spoilers.

The Good

4. The fight scenes

As proven in the previous installment, the Russo brothers know how to direct action scenes. The action scenes in Civil War are excellent, they combine a plethora of gritty hand to hand combat that we have come to expect in a Captain America movie; however, there is also a ton of quality super-powered fights executed in a way that we haven't scene yet in the MCU. The action pieces are exciting and fast paced, as well as being very high-stakes by pitting our favorite characters against each other.

3. Black Panther

I was extremely skeptical about Black Panther, going into the film. He seemed like a second or third rate character, but I was absolutely proven wrong. Black Panther's story arc perfectly exemplifies the broader them of the movie. With the death of his father, he is pulled between the values of loyalty and morality, where he must decide whether to avenge his father's murder or allow for redemption. He ultimately decides to spare Zemo, and allow for himself to be free free of vengeance consuming his life. Something the other characters cannot do.

2. Character Development

If you couldn't tell from the promotional material, this story pits Captain America against Iron Man, who have a dispute over whether or not the government should regulate "enhanced" people's activities, because of the fall out from the previous movies. The reasoning for both sides is rock solid. The movie delves deep into the damaged character that is Tony Stark, and Robert Downey Jr. does a masterful job of portraying the emotions of loosing parents and being the cause of so many deaths. Chris Evans has always been the best casting for Steve Rodgers, and, once again, defines the character as being a rigid, moral and loyal friend. Marvel has traditionally been criticized for their movie villains, but this isn't the case. Daniel Bruhl is astounding as Baron Zemo, and something tells me he will be back.

1. Spider-Man

Tom Holland is absolutely amazing as Spider-Man, better than both Tobey Maguire and Andrew Garfield. This take on the character is the most accurate to the source material we have seen yet, and it is absolutely amazing. Holland is completely believable as a teenage kid from Queens with super powers. He's fun to watch and absolutely hilarious. The brief screen time made me excited for the upcoming Spiderman: Homecoming movie.

The Bad

3. Its all over the place

Team movies are the way superhero movies are going, but that is a slippery slope. If not done correctly these movies can be way overblown and choppy. This movie has over 12 superheroes and a villain, meaning that 13 characters are fighting for limited screen time. Add that to the over abundance of dialog among characters, and the jumps from city to city, this movie can easily become confusing. The audience barely has time to blink, let alone take a bathroom break, which is a big deal during a movie with a 2 hr 27 min run time.

2. It relies on knowledge of almost all of the past marvel movies

With the insane number of characters, there is not time to give a background on everyone. Also, with a jam-packed plot, there is no time to explain the background between Tony Stark and Steve Rodgers. Casual movie fans and new comers would have a very difficult time following the logic behind the two ideologies. They would not know some of the background heroes, like Hawkeye, Ant-man and especially War Machine. War Machine becoming a big problem since his injury is the emotional turning point of the movie. The script brought in characters from the Incredible Hulk, that I didn't even remember. A shared universe will always have this problem, but Civil War relies on the background knowledge more than any other movie

1. There are still no consequences

This is my number one problem with everything in the MCU. We have yet to see a movie that has had serious implications at the end. The two most prominent Avengers just battled for almost two and a half hours, and at the end they send each other a letter to make it all okay. The most shocking scene in the entire movie, when War Machine gets paralyzed, is gut wrenching, but ultimately gets fixed with some sophisticated Stark tech that helps him move his legs. The Marvel executives are so scared to end some things on a bad note that it begins to ruin the credibility and emotional pull to the bad things that happen during the movie. It isn't just this movie either. Coulson dies in the first movie, but don't worry he'll get a TV series. Loki dies in Thor: Dark World, but don't worry its just a trick to take over the throne. Even Nick Furry gets to come back to life after being absolutely riddled with bullets. Its unrealistic and disappointing to know that the entire emotional basis of a movie is manufactured to tie up nice so that we can all go home with a good feeling. Give us some depth or we aren't gonna buy into your plot.

Cover Image Credit: http://images-cdn.moviepilot.com/image/upload/c_fill,h_1080,w_1920/t_mp_quality/h20wkj2-iron-man-vs-captain-america-who-sides-with-who-in-marvel-s-civil-war-jpeg-151871.jpg

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50 Quotes from the Best Vines

If you're picturing the vines in your head, you're doing it right
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In 2017 we had to say goodbye to one of the best websites to ever roam the internet: Vine. In case you have been living under a rock since 2013, Vine was -(sad face)- a website and app that took the internet and the app store by storm in Winter 2013. It contained 6-second videos that were mostly comedy- but there were other genres including music, sports, cool tricks and different trends. Vine stars would get together and plan out a vine and film it till they got it right.

It was owned by Twitter and it was shut down because of so many reasons; the viners were leaving and making money from Youtube, there was simply no money in it and Twitter wanted us to suffer.

There's been a ton of threads on Twitter of everyone's favorite vines so I thought I'd jump in and share some of my favorites. So without further ado, here are some quotes of vines that most vine fanatics would know.

1. "AHH...Stahhp. I coulda dropped mah croissant"

2. "Nate how are those chicken strips?" "F%#K YA CHICKEN STRIPS.....F%#K ya chicken strips!"

3. "Road work ahead? Uh Yea, I sure hope it does"

4. "Happy Crimus...." "It's crismun..." "Merry crisis" "Merry chrysler"

5. "...Hi Welcome to Chili's"

6. "HoW dO yOu kNoW wHaT's gOoD fOr mE?" "THAT'S MY OPINIONNN!!!.."

7."Welcome to Bible Study. We're all children of Jesus... Kumbaya my looordd"

8. Hi my name's Trey, I have a basketball game tomorrow. Well I'm a point guard, I got shoe game..."

9. "It's a avocadooo...thanks"

10. "Yo how much money do you have?" "69 cents" "AYE you know what that means?" "I don't have enough money for chicken nuggets"

11. "Hurricane Katrina? More like Hurricane Tortilla."

12. "Hey Tara you want some?" "This b*%th empty. YEET!"

13. "Get to Del Taco. They got a new thing called Freesha-- Free-- Freeshavaca do"

14. "Mothertrucker dude that hurt like a buttcheek on a stick"

15. "Two brooss chillin in a hot tub 5 feet apart cuz they're not gay"

16. "Jared can you read number 23 for the class?" "No I cannot.... What up I'm Jared, I'm 19 and I never f#@%in learned how to read."

17. "Not to be racist or anything but Asian people SSUUGHHH"

18. 18. "I wanna be a cowboy baby... I wanna be a cowboy baby"

19. "Hey, I'm lesbian" "I thought you were American"

20. "I spilled lipstick in your Valentino bag" "you spilled- whaghwhha- lipstick in my Valentino White bag?"

21. "What's better than this? Guys bein dudes"

22. "How'd you get these bumps? ya got eggzma?" "I got what?" "You got eggzma?"

23. "WHAT ARE THOSEEEEE?" "THEY are my crocs!"

24. "Can I get a waffle? Can I please get a waffle?"

25. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY RAVEN!" "I can't sweem"

26. "Say Coloradoo" "I'M A GIRAFFE!!"

27. "How much did you pay for that taco?" Aight yo you know this boys got his free tacoo"

28. *Birds chirping* "Tweekle Tweekle"

29. "Girl, you're thicker than a bowl of oatmeal"

30. "I brought you Frankincense" "Thank you" "I brought you Myrrh" "Thank you" "Mur-dur" "huh...Judas..no"

31. "Sleep? I don't know about sleep...it's summertime" "You ain't go to bed?" "Oh she caught me"

32. "All I wanna tell you is school's not important... Be whatever you wanna be. If you wanna be a dog...RUFF. You know?"33. "Oh I like ya accent where you from?" "I'm Liberian" "Oh, my bad *whispering* I like your accent..."

34. "Next Please" "Hello" "Sir, this is a mug shot" "A mug shot? I don't even drink coffee"


35. "Hey did you happen to go to class last week?" "I have never missed a class"

36. "Go ahead and introduce yourselves" "My name is Michael with a B and I've been afraid of insects my entire-" "Stop, stop, stop. Where?" "Hmm?" "Where's the B?" "There's a bee?"

37. "There's only one thing worse than a rapist...Boom" "A child" "No"

38. "Later mom. What's up me and my boys are going to see Uncle Kracker...GIVE ME MY HAT BACK JORDAN! DO YOU WANNA SEE UNCLE KRACKER OR NO?


39. "Dad look, it's the good kush." This is the dollar store, how good can it be?"

40. "Zach stop...Zach stop...You're gonna get in trouble. Zach"

41. "CHRIS! Is that a weed? "No this is a crayon-" I'm calling the police" *puts 911 into microwave* "911 what's your emergency"

42. "WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? "

43. *Blowing vape on table* * cameraman blows it away* "ADAM"

44. "Would you like the spider in your hand?" "Yea" "Say please" "Please" *puts spider in hand* *screams*

45. "Oh hi, thanks for checking in I'm still a piece of garrbaagge"

46. *girl blows vape* "...WoW"

47. *running* "...Daddy?" "Do I look like-?"

48. *Pours water onto girl's face" "Hello?"

49. "Wait oh yes wait a minute Mr. Postman" "HaaaAHH"

50. "...And they were roommates" "Mah God they were roommates"


I could literally go on forever because I just reference vines on a daily basis. Rest in peace Vine

Cover Image Credit: Vine

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15 Students You're Unfortunately Going To Run Into

This is one wild place.
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High school is basically the weirdest place in the world. It's an influx of all of the humanity's best, worst, and in-between. And while there's no way to predict for sure all of the freaks you'll meet, here's just 15 you either know or will know.


1. The Stoners


Some of them are problematic; some of them aren't. They're quite the wide range, but they always have a dead look in their eyes, make a lot of inappropriate jokes and like to play card games.

2. The Geeks

Put your second generation Macbook Pro-Gameboy fusion away, Daniel. No one wants to watch Naruto with you.

3. Football Players

At my school, we used to have a dance studio. It's been turned into a weight room, but they kept the mirrors. So now every time you pass the room, it smells like sweat and testosterone while shirtless guys stare at themselves, flexing to prove their heterosexuality.

4. Every Other Sport

We get it, you're tired, and you hate your coach. If you hate it so much, quit. But you won't because if you do then you won't have anything to complain about to others.

5. Hype Beasts

No, I will not scream at this pep rally because I do not care about school spirit. Go away, I have a headache.

6. Vape Nation

While I thank you for smelling like candy or fruit as opposed to smelling like a chemical fire like the stoners, please stop juuling in the bathroom; I just want to pee.

7. AP Students

Sweetie, please take a nap and have some green tea, you're stressing me out. See number one for more help on relaxing.

8. Freshman

If you're a freshman and you're thinking, "Oh, I'm not that bad!" then trust me. You are. Someday you'll look back on yourself during these times and wish you were never born.

9. Phone Ninjas

Often football players or hype beasts, these people have their phones surgically attached to their hands and somehow never get caught.

10. Teacher's Pet

Buddy, literally everyone but the teacher is perfectly aware that you're just mooching for a better grade or for your phone back.

11. Kinky Kids

No, I would not like to hear about your weekend. Go sit with someone else before I catch something.

12. Theater Kids

Stop screaming at me to buy tickets to see you play the That One Background Character in the school play. I don't even know you.

13. The Orchestra Kids

They constantly feel like their under attack, and they're not entirely wrong. Need to see number one to relax as well.

14. Band Kids

Like orchestra Kids except way more annoying and permanently stuck in the freshman phase.

15. Has Their Own Car And Everyone Knows It

Hey buddy, you're 10 minutes late, and you have Chik-Fil-A. It doesn't take a genius to put two and two together.

Cover Image Credit: Wikimedias Common

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