The question, "what if the roles were reversed?" shouldn't exist, but it does. After asking rhetorically to myself or straight up to someone too many times to count, it dawned on me that I shouldn’t even be asking this in the first place. Why? Because if I have to ask, it’s because I already know that the situation, whatever it may be, wouldn't reverse the same way I'd hope it would.

1. He doesn't like his girlfriend anyway

Don’t let his good hair and sweet talking fool you. If he’s going behind his girlfriend’s back to talk to you and you find yourself wondering if he would be talking to you like this if you were the one in a serious relationship, trust me the answer is no. He wouldn’t. He wouldn't want the baggage or the drama. He's not leaving his girlfriend, and you wouldn't leave your hypothetical boyfriend. You shouldn't want to date someone like him anyway.

2. Suddenly he's playing adult

If your boyfriend is out of school and has a big boy job, while you are continuing your studies, yet he refuses to spend time at your apartment because it’s too "college" for him, then you’d probably ask yourself, What if I was the one with a job and he was still in school? Would it bother him that I have never even spent the night at his place? Relationships are a compromise, and it seems like sometimes people need a reminder of that.

3. It's snowing and you're wearing open toed stilettos

If the roles were reversed and you kicked him out immediately after hooking up, do you think he’d send a sweet goodnight text? The answer is obviously, no. Sure, he wouldn't run into the problem of having to walk home in heels, but you're nice enough to not kick him out in the middle of a downpour. So don’t waste time over someone who doesn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated. You deserve someone who doesn't ever want you to leave.

4. Carried away with that Big job offer

What if you were the one that got the job offer in another city? Would you hide it from him until after you accepted the offer, without even discussing what the two of you are going to do about it? Absolutely not. Because after almost 3 years of dating you’d think he would share the news about the job offer the day he received it. How would he feel if he was the one thinking 'we' and you were the one only thinking 'me' in a decision like this?

5. You've been dating for fewer days than the amount of reindeer for Santa's sleigh

Let’s not pretend that buying him a Christmas present is all you’ve been thinking about recently. But let’s reel it in. You’ve only matched with him 2 weeks ago, and you’ve only had one dinner and a movie night together. Talk to him before you go ahead and spend $200 on a guy that didn’t even think of getting a gift for his brother, let alone you.

Go ahead and argue that you’re just a better person than him anyway, or that the question what if the roles were reversed? doesn't apply to the situation, but, hey, sometimes we all need to wake up.

You do you.