With the excitement I feel for "The Roast of Alec Baldwin," I am going to do my best to roast Felicity Huffman.

For those of you who don't know, Felicity Huffman is a "well known actress" from Lynette from Desperate Housewives. However, she was widely recognized by the media for big her role on the "Varsity Blues" case. That'll be her biggest role since Desperate Housewives.

On September 13, 2019, Huffman was sentenced to 14 days in jail for her role in the Varsity Blues case. Earlier this year, on March 12, 2019, Huffman was arrested and went out on bail for $250,000. Huffman pleaded guilty for paying $15,000 for having someone correct her daughter's SAT exam. That's one thousand dollars per day in jail plus taxes and tips for jail staff. Assuming that someone should have tipped Huffman to not participate in fraud, she could've avoided using US tax dollars to check herself into jail. At least we know she won't be worried about sustenance, accommodations, and transactions while she's living life in her jail cell.

The Scholastic Aptitude Test, or the SAT, is an exam every high school student takes in order to go to a four year college. For Felicity Huffman, this is known as a Stupid Ass Transaction. Now Huffman has to march into her west winged hotel suite, I mean jail-cell, on October 25, 2019. Halloween won't be about improvs and set costumes for a movie. She wont be felicity passing out candy. She'll be feeling blue with a costume that'll make her look like an orange or a grapefruit or like the "Cat in the Hat." The good news is that she will be released just in time to spend Christmas with the Kranks.

Felicity Huffman was charged with mail fraud and bribery. Felicity could have bribed her mail man to find her daughter an SAT tutor. That tutor could've taught her daughter to form a sentence for the SAT essay portion of the exam, rather than having Felicity being sentenced into jail. Or, Felicity, could've used those $15,000 to send her daughter and her nanny to a community college where they could've have transferred to an elite university. Instead she transferred $15,000 to her new cellmate's bank account who couldn't score her out of jail.

Felicity, not even a bottle of Poo-Pourri helped hide the smell of bullshit with the government when you first dumped that money into the toilet!!

Things Change when you're a desperate housewife who wants to stand out with the other Hollywood Elite. Mail fraud and bribery are not Reversible Errors Huffman has made. But it does take a lot of courage to stick up towards law and order when you're a working mom who only wants the best for her child- even if she thinks her daughter isn't the brightest pencil in the box.